A Poem by BackintheUSSR


Author: BackintheUSSR
Created: February 15, 2017 at 11:25 am
Upload Type: Poem, G (All)  
Category: Relationships | Romance | Friendship
Upload Stats: 4.5 Stars by 2 users with 2 comments and 67 views

"These Things Worth Seeing"  

On the tip of my tongue there're a hundred ways' to take these thoughts,
I can find about six or seven more in the stroke of a pen or the press of a key,
While you're still here, it matters that you just once hear the answers I sought,
I know where you stand, and I'm not pushing, but I want you to see what I see.

I see it in the way your eyes glow and shine when you laugh,
I hear it in the near musical softness of your voice,
I see it in the way you smile, and the way your hair falls,
And I see it in the way you walk, step for step, care free and bold,

You're strong. Stronger than I'll ever be.
When everything's crashed and burnt and busted around you
You haven't given in,
You still carry on and try and make the best out of what you've got,
Despite your hardships, despite what the drags say, think, or do,
You're loyal and you're good, no matter what.
Finally it's in the music in my life that you've sent me, though you think I hate it,

These are some of the beautiful things I see in you,
The things that make my heart skip and my words stutter
When you go, if you go, if you haven't already gone, I don't want you to go doubting.
And don't doubt for a minute that I don't want you to go at all.


© BackintheUSSR - all rights reserved

Author Notes


For my best friend Anna. Sometimes I don't think you know how much you mean to me. 

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Comments & Reviews ( X 2)



Constance_
February 16, 2017
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Beautiful
This poem touched my heart, there is such love and longing in your words, really beautifully penned with emotion.
applaud



(Author)
Thank you! I'm glad you liked it.

 BackintheUSSR replied on February 17, 2017




michaelgallatin
February 16, 2017
Helpful? Thumbs UpThumbs Down
This is a fine poem...
showing caring and friendship and that comes through loud and clear. Yet perhaps because it is personal there are some parts that seem very confusing to a reader. An example is "Despite what the drags say, think or do". Are you stating or at least implying that Anna is a drag queen or perhaps is associated with them? Even more strange is your line that says "When you go, if you go, if you haven't already gone" especially when you add in the last line that you don't want the person to go at all. If this person is such a dear and valued friend, don't you think you'd know if he or she was there. It seems a real state of confusion when you say maybe and maybe not over and over. So, a nice poem about a friend but quite confusing, misleading and somewhat vague in how it's presented. And perhaps I'm being critical as it is personal and you know more than anyone reading this. Yet if you intend to present this to others and expect them to get a clear picture, it could be improved upon.

Namaste,
Mike
applaud



(Author)
> "An example is "Despite what the drags say, think or do". Are you stating or at least implying that Anna is a drag queen or perhaps is associated with tthem?"

No, not at all. By drags I refer to people who try to bring her down.

> "When you go, if you go, if you haven't already gone" especially when you add in the last line that you don't want the person to go at all. If this person is such a dear and valued friend, don't you think you'd know if he or she was there."

At the time that I wrote this, it was a pretty confusing time for both of us. She was on the cusp of losing her job and potentially moving away. I had no idea if she was leaving, when if she was, or if she already had.

> It seems a real state of confusion

I don't think that's a bad thing. It was a confusing time, so it makes sense that this is sort of confusing . And no worries. Criticism is what I was after. I just don't understand some of your confusions'. I'm glad you liked it though, and took the time to review. 

 BackintheUSSR replied on February 17, 2017




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