A Short Story by HarryHood


Author: HarryHood
Created: March 06, 2012 at 11:47 pm
Upload Type: Short Story, G (All)  
Category: Spiritual | Weird | Society
Upload Stats: 4.5 Stars by 1 users with 2 comments and 130 views

The Squeeze  

……..On the chair with that vintage pattern that seems to be so popular with the kids these days. Sitting there, smoking a cigarette, thinking about life. *Hahahahahah* Its funny to see it on the page. (Cliché sayings are a comforting blanket in my world…a little piece of knowledge passed down to us from your grandparents grandparents…one in particular always seemed to gravitate towards me.. is the juice worth the squeeze? Its perfect….with that saying you can take an extremely complex situation and boil it down…reminds me of a picture…you're in this beautiful area…/like the mountains\… and its all around you! you can/ touch it/ feel it/ taste it/ smell it… you want to remember this moment so you take a picture…you take this all encompassing experience and you frame in a two dimensional picture[…almost insulting…]{ITS NOT LIKE THAT!} You take this representation so you can feel like you’re there again [you remember the drive to those mountains]…up the road a with 200 foot drop off just to the right, [you remember that the only reason you ended up in that picture perfect place is because you got lost]…Thats why I like those old sayings…….they make me comfortable/they take a picture of some idealistic Americana wisdom, a place where your biggest problems are made to fit the size of the house you grew up in….makes me feel like one day I’m gonna take a turn a just be THERE.)
THERE! A rat scurries into the middle of the alley and hunches behind a garbage can, ignoring it the basement door is opened slowly…walking into the room I sit down on the chair…….


Last Modified: March 07, 2012 at 04:03 am
© HarryHood - all rights reserved

Author Notes


Cyclical thoughts, lead you here/there


 
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Comments & Reviews



Inthemuse
March 07, 2012
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Wow,,,what can I say?
First of all, by no means is this written in the poetry style, so I assume it's more like a 'journal entry'. I liked the parts about remembering adages from the past. You did that quite well. Oh! You goofed on the title! Who would be interested in perusing your writing? That title is mundane... if I was you, I would change it ASAP... to something that readers can related to... even use some of the 'old phrases' in your opening to let others know what you are going to talk about. And that last paragraph? That was just weird! I don't see how it enhanced the original idea of your work.



I forgot to mention that I know exactly how it feels... to take a photo of a majestic scene and when the photos show up... it's nothing as impressive as the reality was! Ha... you DID 'get' me there (identified with what you wrote)

 Inthemuse replied on March 07, 2012


Tks for commenting back to me. If this work is about the Life Cycle, that should be reflected in the title. I haven't seen a revision yet... maybe I need to look more. Another thought? Perhaps indicating somewhere along the way of your intentions to have the ending phrases extend to the beginning, as you explained to me. A reader should not have to guess and be wrong as to the interpretation. Hope this helps! ...and your work did bring me back to my own past, although in a different way. I read that everybody's perceptions of past events is different from those who experienced the very same event. Food for thought!

 Inthemuse replied on March 07, 2012




user26535
March 07, 2012
Helpful? Thumbs UpThumbs Down
very well written, you had me there with you
even when the rat brought a dose of reality
thanks for sharing the thoughts


There are no comments on this review.




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