A Poem by jediallday


Author: jediallday
Created: August 14, 2011 at 08:38 am
Upload Type: Poem, M (16+)  
Category: Romance | Sad | Dark
Upload Stats: 4.66 Stars by 6 users with 6 comments and 370 views

Entrapmosphere  


Entrapmosphere
(Inspired by a comment I left on SanExpeditus' poetry)

In pubs crawling with the ghosts of night
Lost in a sea of ethereal delights
They search for meaning in murky air
Who look for hope and find despair

Entrapped by the longing of desire
Their lust to quench the burning fire
Like birds compelled to find a mate
They come in love but leave with hate

Amidst the unbearable suffocating haze
Where the sights and sounds tend to amaze
Long after the night has lost its gleam
Love then lies wasted on a dream

In pubs swarming with the ghosts of love
Where hope gives way to push and shove
And love hard sought soon disappears
Where hearts are lost in the Entrapmosphere


© jediallday - all rights reserved

Author Notes


Those who have done the whole bup and club crawl will immediately relate to this scene. This is inspired by comments I wrote on one of SanExpeditus' pieces.

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Comments & Reviews ( X 8)



dragonflyrider
August 25, 2011
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I like your poem. I't s refreshing to read a poem with a little humor. Ido look forward to more of your poems.


There are no comments on this review.




lalipenz
August 16, 2011
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5

Friend this is so beautifully written there is so much music in your words well done spotlight


There are no comments on this review.




SanExpeditus
August 15, 2011
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What a Word!!
My goodness Paul, I'm beaming with the excitement that you felt inspired through your own interpretations of my poem! This piece of yours aptly describes the hopes of those who begin a night with aspirations of finding 'love' within the dark and crowded walls of bars and clubs and express the weariness felt by those who fail to do so. I'm amazed at the use of this freshly created word that fills the poem faithfully with its avid meaning. Bravo!



(Author)
Thank you for your beautiful words of encouragement,

 jediallday replied on August 15, 2011




apathapart
August 14, 2011
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Very Nice Poem
This is a good poem. I liked the fact that it brought together the full throught in just a very few verses, and portrayed very clearly the image (at least to me when I read this) of a very darkly lit, possibly strobe-lit, frenetic space, with everyone trying deparately to be noticed and eventually, to be be loved. It is a very active, sad, unfortunately all too true poem. I liked the ryhming and the fact that the scene continued to flow without becoming separated for the sake of the rhyme. Thank you for sharing this.



(Author)
Thank you so much

 jediallday replied on August 15, 2011




Exxiesheartbreak
August 14, 2011
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Keep 'em coming!
"In pubs swarming with ghosts of love" I love this unique piece hun. You are on a poetic roll that can't be stopped. you go my guy friend! Bravo! Exxie



(Author)
Thank you so much Exxie. I get on rolls at times, don't I and then other times I am at a loss to write a single meaningful line. I can't explain it really, it's odd...like me. lol

 jediallday replied on August 15, 2011


everything you write is wonderful hun! keep up the fine work, Exxie

 Exxiesheartbreak replied on August 17, 2011




webeater
August 14, 2011
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nice poem
well written....................its a nice poem..............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................



(Author)
Thank you so much

 jediallday replied on August 15, 2011




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