A Poem by MagicMJ
March 25, 2010 at 05:48 am
Poem, G (All)
Sad | Love | Death
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A Mother's Grief (Revised)
I feel uneasy packing his things. His favourite little blue ball, his little cars, his drawings they felt so heavy that I canít seem to get them in the box. I look around and see his face on that frame. His smile canít even lift the pain of him going away. I tried to be strong, I have too. It seems thereís no room for despair. Itís my choice to let my baby go. But no matter how hard I tried to make myself believe that this is the right thing to do, inside of me Iím cursing myself for being so damn coward for not facing this so called ďburdenĒ. I wish I could just stop the clock and return its hands to when I donít have to make a choice of losing my child or losing our lives. Oh I pray to God every night that my son would find in his heart forgiveness for my frailty, Ďcause in my soul I canít seem to show mercy for my own. Knocking on the door I heard my eldest daughter ďMama, dad wants to know if youíre ready to go?Ē Faking my voice to be calm I replied to her ďYes sweetheart, Iíll go down in just a minuteĒ.
Now driving, silence is deafening between the two of us. We are like strangers trapped in a lost island. I donít know if I will hate this man whom I shared my love. For how can he be so calm when Iím in pain? How easy for him to make this decision? But I guess in the end it is still me to take the blame for all this agony.
And as we near to our fate, I feel the numbness inside of me. I canít even make a step towards this tragedy. I can no longer hold myself back from the tears. This man beside me comforted me. Assured me that this will be for the better and we can have our lives together. We just have to be strong and accept that we have to take his fate with our hands. Then as we cross the line of our destiny, they ask us if we are ready. And with a nod, the father of my son has given them his blessing.
I will no longer see my son. For more than a year he spent his life in this hospital, lying on his bed in his endless sleep. Now, the doctors will put him in his eternal rest. But my soul will never be in peace.
Last Modified: November 03, 2010 at 08:02 am
© MagicMJ - all rights reserved
Just did some revisions in the ending... Hope the changes will make it clearer..
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