so nostalgic I remember my younger days.... and I miss doing this thing that I did for soooo many times in the past ... savoring the cold shower under the gutters, ha, ha
Thanks for making me feel young... again...
Truly wonderful. I love rain too. The busyness of daily boring work keep us away to feel the moments of GOD created nature.
Or sometimes we hardly get natural beauty in our city life.
And you will laugh if I say that these days we have heat preventing glass windows to protect from the sun rays. Though it helps us from heat but that doesn't let us see the shining sun very well.
Your poem helped me to stop from my daily life and helped me to feel the beautiful GOD created nature.
I apologize for my late reading as I love to read your poem always.
Thank you Gomsi my friend...I'm so glad you enjoyed it ...Cheers buddy...Makes me happy knowing you could escape for just a little while at least...Thank you for your kind comment...I appreciate it deeply
Yes, Jon. . I love the rain. . who doesn't? After reading the many senryu and haiku this week, believe it or not this felt long to me. But long in a good way. My favorite quatrain is:
Pavements of silver
Reflections of truth;
Feeling the love
As the sun shone through.
You, Lognstone and spirtsthread have been talking to me about using less of the little words like a, the, as etc. Keeping that in mind as I read this. One line strikes me as having possibly one extra small word.
While the rain drops fell.
It's fine as is, I wonder though would it also work as "While rain drops fell"
You have the gift of bringing to life the beauty you see within nature and sketching your pen through the mind you so cleverly use. Your words fill the reader with the true smell, sense and reason for rain. Very subtle overtones of a child's viewpoint throughout. Now longer a mystery to others by use of descriptive expressions that light up a smile on the face. Rain, rain come to me. There is something about rain that makes you want to snuggle up to someone you love and just hold them.
Great write Jon.
Keep up the great work and sharing with us who adore you and your work.
Thank you my lovely, I deeply appreciate your kind and thoughtful comment...thank you...Yep...The rain has a wonderful soothing quality about it, doesn't it my friend....Thanks again for your valued opinion...You're a diamond
Once again you have penned down a beautiful piece, and with nice imagery as always. A good flowing piece and composing it together using the rain, one could never go wrong. I still don't know what it is about the rain, but it always works great in poetry. I enjoy writing about it myself, I also like being out in it in the spring and summer. Thanks for sharing,
I loved this..i could see everything...everything...i mean that...and it brought a smile to my face. I could just imagine looking out my window with a huge grin on my face reading this poem. How lovely really. FAntastic job Jon London..keep it up.
Omg I I love the rain! it is indeed the blessings of God in the form of water drops, and i absolutely loved this descriptive, mesmerizing and heartfelt piece, you have a wonderful way of expressing your fondness for little things, thanks for taking the time to write this, i felt the raindrops on my face, thank you so very much
beautiful is nature isnt it. what a soft and delicate way to express the love for such beauty.
you did a very good job on this one jon your words paint pictures and give a feel of peace,
thank u for this great piece i enjoyed it a lot
Like the rain your words fall with the grace of holy water from the lips my friend. It brings a delightful feeling of youth and embeds a wonderful message of hope! Overall your craft once again marks a memory to keep! Bravo!!!...)o(
I love the gentleness and the subtle rhyme used to enhance the musicality of this piece. I would have liked to see a bit more show than tell.
I hear a song
within the rain
soft droplets stream
that chime a spell
with rounded splash
as rivers swell.
Just a thought. Sometimes pulling a piece into the present tense gives it an even stronger impact emotionally and visually for the reader. I loved the idea of tubular bells as the rain sound. I could hear it ...
and the thoughts of children playing in the rain! How fresh and alive! *smile*
All in all a wonderful visual for the morning. I enjoyed this and look forward to reading more of your work. Thank you so much for sharing this one with me. ~Pamela
oh as always such a beautiful, delightful poem, makes me laugh form the joy of it and dance to the tune of the fallinf rain, you did an excellent job on this my dear , such grace and such power in this to delight the senses, wonderful flow, form and rimeing, you bought it all to gather in such a delightful wonderful way, good good good!!!!!
This was very beautiful, I'm fairly surprised, I know you are good at writing, but this is much better than I see most people write. It sets a enjoyable scene for my mind, and yes, Nature is one of my favorite things great job.
Good stuff Jon, but not quite as perfect as usuall. Tubular bells should be 'like A tubular bell'. Im not keen on the 4th verse as it doesnt rhyme and flow as good and I feel the ending is a bit a-miss somehow. Maybe 2nd line should be 'as the music fades the stain'? Then again, Im not an expert, just over critical and unshamedly honest. Dont get me wrong, I loved the poem. It has the usuall quality you potray naturally in your writing. I always feel the structure plays an important part in your pieces and it seems to come accross. The more I read of your writing the more I think you are either Gay or a woman! lol. You write with the pen of a Female protagonist. Elegant and delicate. Good workmate. Best wishes and Love always. Gem. xxx
Lmao!!!...owe thanks...no gay man in this house lol...
And I've just had this pace tested on another site, and it past with flying colours...strange lol....Anyway, thank you for all your support, I'm very grateful to you my lovely...You're a diamond, thank you
Very well done greatly presented and thoughtful. The reason it rains is that when we have memories in our mind that are released God releases his rain upon us where we are in the earth as a blessing. And you capture some of what can be the blessings of what the rain can bring and in your case it is vivid imagery to that of a song that stirrs the soul.
Thank you my friend, I'm so glad you enjoyed my gratitude for the beauty we have been blessed with...Sadly, man-kind is destroying it all that was pure on earth....so these simple reminders of nature, make us think twice about how we live our lives...Thank for your kind and thoughtful comment, I deeply appreciate it...Thank you