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A Poem by spirit99


Author: spirit99
Created: January 29, 2010 at 12:08 am
Upload Type: Poem, G (All)  
Category: General/Other | General/Other | General/Other
Upload Stats: 4.33 Stars by 6 users with 7 comments and 305 views

A girls world  

Thereís a girl
In a world
Who doesnít know
How things go
What to do
Nothing in her head
Messed up
Fed up
Wanting love
Feelings
Just plain feelings
I canít explain the tyrant
Itís after her
Help her get away!
A story of sadness
A day of madness
A friend a foe
Who will know
Somethingís are right
Whoís to say wrong
On that night
To belong
She registers her heart
But itís torn apart
She canít get you outta her head
She needs you in her heart
She feels overwhelmed
And understated


© spirit99 - all rights reserved

Author Notes


I found this poem i think it is like 2 years old...


 
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Comments & Reviews ( X 1)



gothpoet_2012
December 09, 2010
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PERFECT
Okay...so out of your three poems that I've read this one is surely my favorite so far! I enjoyed ''A Girl's world" because for one it was more unique than the other two. I loved the excellent choice of words in this poem. I found that the word "Pain" in my opinion in the other two was over used.


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steven743
June 14, 2010
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brillant
care to read mine comments


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apathapart
June 01, 2010
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Very Nice
When I read this, I liked it immediately because of the easy flow of the words.I had to read this again to pick up the substance, and afterward I liked the poem more, especially the last lines, "She feels overwhelmed and understated". I thought this was such a perfect use of words to describe the feeling of inadequacy that others can instill upon usl, leaving us exhausted (overwhelmed) at the same time. Thank you for sharing this with all of us here.


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dulcet
April 24, 2010
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It seems like you have great potential here but the rhythm of the poem seem to be somewhat spuratic at times, deviating from the established beat.... However you seem to capture the characteristics of life from a girls point of view as it is rather emotional and the indecisiveness seems to be a common ailment that has plagued women and men alike for ever.


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MaryJane
March 09, 2010
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Lol ... I can def. say that alot of us have been at this point in our life sometime or another I know I have. I like this poem alot I like the flow of it and how it is written in a story like form slowly revealing more details of a broken hearted girl as you go along! Very well done I enjoyed it!


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Savina
February 11, 2010
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Well written
This is a really nice poem, I rather enjoyed reading it.
There are many people, girls and boys alike, that can relate to this, or know someone who can.Keep up the beautiful work, I don't know much about poetry, but I do know that your very talented, and I hope you continue writing, and sharing your work with us.


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zainab
January 29, 2010
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a nice one
but I don't why but I felt something like charisma was missing still in this tiny piece


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