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A Poem by ThunderStorm


Author: ThunderStorm
Created: July 02, 2009 at 10:03 pm
Upload Type: Poem, G (All)  
Category: Dark | Sad | Gothic
Upload Stats: 4.83 Stars by 15 users with 17 comments and 328 views

Paralyzed heart  

Follow the trail, down the rabbit hole,

Dont you know. I am alive,

Im just falling inwards.

Trying so hard just to be apart,

Losing heart, grip slips again.


Playing this game, another risky rhyme,

On the line. Follow the pen,

As it is lifted outwards.

What seems insane, born of the pain,

Let it rain, like a fresh start.


Frail nightingale, choked by a stone,

Muted tone. Left to her fate,

Another night spent alone.

Soared into the sky, wanting to die,

Flew to high, and then just gave in.


Eyes shut tight, this is goodbye,

No one will cry. Witness all,

Say her reasons were unknown.

Spiraling down, crashed into the ground,

Not a sound, crushed from within.


Paralyzed Heart, afraid to feel,

So much unreal. Surrounded by lies,

With regret transforming.

Nothing you say, could change the way,

I feel today. Self loathing hate.


Musical Box, rewound to much,

Lost its touch. Grating the nerves,

The memories reforming.

Damaged by fate, always to late,

Suffocate, just fading away.


Black Butterflies, sing a quite song,

Mind feels wrong. Am I alive?

Pinned down by expectations.

What can be said? When the heart is dead,

Empty bleed. Wilted by time.


Set on display, so they can rule,

Im the fool. Cracking my pride,

Numbing to all sensations.

Eyes seem alive, but this is a lie,

Shut up inside. Still they say shes fine.


Glittering Crown, like a collar chokes,

All she wrote. Can they want more?

When its the source their hating.

Distract the mind, no secrets find,

Going blind. Just trying to breath.


Painful withdraw, a poisoned core,

Demands more. Shattering soul,

Madness takes form in writing.

Just make believe, that if she did leave,

Some would grieve. Always left behind.


© ThunderStorm - all rights reserved


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Comments & Reviews ( X 11)



RAYVHENWING
July 10, 2010
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WOW!!
Your inner soul is in here, youve found what makes your spirit release,so keep going there, its the magic you find when your not seeking it, let it flow in all your future works,it will be like water flowing from a water fall naturally, well done,look forward to more like this one thunderstorm...MUCH LOVE~Vlada~aka Rayvhenwing


There are no comments on this review.




jessica_08
June 20, 2010
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very good
dang....u r very talented...


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simon
March 11, 2010
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D-A-M-N
GREAT P=O-E:M. I LOVED THE FLOW LOVE THE WAY ITS WRITTEN AND THE VERSES. keep up the good work. maybe someday we can write a colab.


There are no comments on this review.




darkelegy
November 22, 2009
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oldies but goodies old goth classic write from you my beloved goth friend...your deep thun! and full of ideas...a very great piece to share and thank you very much for letting me to read this, its a pleasure to read my friend!...darkelegy


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tarantulla81
November 22, 2009
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OMG thunder this is brilliant.
wow i think this is one of u best works. i live it,.
depth and images just perfect


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Saintz
July 08, 2009
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I like it
Distract the mind, no secrets find,

Going blind. Just trying to breath.

I like the whole thing but, for some reason those two lines attracted me


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ThePriestess
July 05, 2009
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Fantastic job you did with painting a picture in my head. Clap Clap to you my dear on a job well done.
Rhythm was good, flow was wonderful.
Bravo to you!!
Take care and may the energy of the Moon guide you and protect you throughout your life.
Timmie


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kyrab_mtions
July 04, 2009
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wow
very impressing...vivid words made poem seem quiet literal..as a soothing tonne with dramatic emotions pressed! very nicely written..one feels n see what has been written...


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hotbreeze987
July 04, 2009
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Great poem!
I thought it had GREAT rhyme and flow=)
Can't wait for you to make more!

-Brianna


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Amanda93
July 03, 2009
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Good poem.
Nice rhyming.

-Amanda


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gangstayo
July 03, 2009
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omg i love your poem!


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salman_siddiqui4
July 02, 2009
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awesome write .......i like it


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shannonstarling
July 02, 2009
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Speechless
.Wow..........................
.............this...................was...............
........I'm..........................speechless...............

I'm actually in tears right now. It's like all her emotions were hurled inside you and you wrote them down. I'm speechless.

...........................................
............
....
<3 Shannon


There are no comments on this review.




JoeV
July 02, 2009
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Loved it.
The start to each of your stanzas was amazingly creative. A very deep poem with a lot of soul in in words. Well done.


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Dom1n1ck
July 02, 2009
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Deep
Very descriptive, has great quick hit sentences, that sort of jolt you in mid read. Lots of angles all flowing at once. Nice work. D


There are no comments on this review.




opposeyourmind
July 02, 2009
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I love this poem, it's sad, and dark, and beautifully worded. I like how it jumps around
Amazing Job!


There are no comments on this review.




colorfuldreamer
July 02, 2009
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Wow...
Wow... that's about all I can say so getting this to over 300 characters to get three points is going to be hard. This poem, it flows so well and says so much. It makes no sense yet the emotions are still perfectly expressed. I like that it's just all short sentences. Great job. Keep up the good work.
Love
Kenzie
Colorfuldreamer



Haha Kenzie, I was so in the same spot as you, this was amazing. And, I could only put dots to make it to 300 characters. Powerful isn't it?

 shannonstarling replied on July 02, 2009




      

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