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♥ intense ♥

Author:   iviedoeloves
Created: May 06, 2009 at 07:56 am
Entry Type: Poem, G (All)
Category: Love | Sad | Contemporary
Entry Stats: 4.91 Stars by 6 users with 6 comments 208 views
intense 




intense

a part of being a-part of being apart
throws a struggle so huge into my bloody heart.
may I interest you in a long tall cool glass of me?
call me sweetheart, cup my chin, and kiss me so passionately.

let not our lives wrap up over our eyes,
using mere things as blinders, a thin disguise.
suffocating our selves and each other without panic,
we should be kicking, screaming; trying to live above the attic.

dose by dose and screen to screen we coma in and out.
pages peel forward and toward the world 'round about.
i love you unconditionally, to my very bloody heart's core,
but if you're trying to do yourself in; what is my love good for?

Ivie doe 5.01.09


Author Notes
please review and critique all my work, thank you. i need it to grow.

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Comments & Reviews ( X 1)

paSSionsburn
April 29, 2012

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Oh my dear
I love this..the way it rolls off the tongue and the words wrap around one another. I have truly wanted to check more of your work out for months. I am glad that I am now.This is genius! BW44
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DaMoment
May 18, 2010

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Very smart write. to the point enjoyed it!
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atomiccolm
October 15, 2009

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Wow Iviedoe, I absolutely love your use of words, the imagery is striking and immediately evokes wonderful images of longing and lust. To be honest i was not expecting the complete contrast at the end but it plays out really well and leaves the reader feeling a lot to think about... well done
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Sourav
May 27, 2009

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Love this. Nicely done! Good interesting lines. And a good end!
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dacia
May 06, 2009

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I LOVE the way this flows. Its so unique and your metaphors are practically jumping off of the page. Good Job!
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INEVERDIE
May 06, 2009

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great
love the format of the poem. it was very expressive. and yet portrays meaning. you really poured your heart on a page. it really moved me. and also. the lines had a very good flow. i enjoyed the final moment in the end. bravo. great work, again. you are a true scholor!
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