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Forever alive

Author: ThunderStorm
Created: February 22, 2009 at 08:52 pm
Entry Type: Poem, T (13+)
Category: Gothic | Horror | General/Other
Entry Stats: 4.42 Stars by 19 users with 26 comments 552 views
Forever alive 
with my last breath I will breathe your name You're my hero even in death In a need of an angel you came in the dark skies of the midnight
You taught me to believe I saw within you the light Because of you I breathe I could never repay you You've given me something to live for my Admiration is something I wish you knew I couldn't ask for more With you I know I'm never alone I now know what i'm meant to do I feel you deep beneath the bone I will never forget you I'm meant to keep you alive and known You shall forever be Kept strong deep inside me


Last Modified: July 20, 2010 at 11:28 pm

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Comments & Reviews ( X 13)

elphie
May 26, 2012

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This is wonderful. It reveals a part of you to all of us. Thank u for sharing it.
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1josephjohn
March 23, 2011

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nice
Is this about your soul? Who is this about? Great job
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daydreamer1717
February 19, 2011

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Sweet
I wish a poem like this was written for me. Whoever you wrote it for, they are lucky. Keep up the good work =D
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TrueLies
February 19, 2011

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i can relate....
I love this! its so hinest and open and heart felt.....nice job!!
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KimberleeShantel
October 24, 2010

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If you're going to have a few sentences in each line, don't forget to space them out with some commas so that things don't start running together.

I love the subtle rhyming and the emotions that this poem is centered around. It really speaks out loudly to the reader, and is pieced together quite well.

Keep up the great writing!
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Tjejma
August 21, 2010

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If you only knew the contrast your words allure between the walls of my mind. A great pice of work. I believe that from now on, I will always be wanting to read more. And more to read I have, when there are about 500 other poems of yours.

Be safe angel.
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elfqueena
July 24, 2010

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wow
oh this was so strong in the emotion department . you made me feel like i was the one you were writing to lol. good job babe , made this come to life with your words .loved it sweets.
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pmera
January 14, 2010

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I think this is beauiful and wonderfully writtn however I would enter line breaks insead of typing in one solid block because it lets the reader know wher to breath and can be used to enphasis points - but thats just my opinion and style. Good write!
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mymatebaz
December 08, 2009

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Poignant
Your poem is poignant, deep and meaningful. You've chosen a topic that is common to humanity. That is, the strong bonds of love. You have captured many of the feelings attached to love and have used adventurous vocabulary to aid readability. As an improvement, you could alter the layout, by using line breaks.
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Darkmoon
November 27, 2009

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Beautiful
I like the piece of how it expresses feelings out so deeply, great job!
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darkelegy
November 22, 2009

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well done gothic thun! I can relate to this piec clearly...the way you expressed your feelings to it is great! thank you for letting me to review this immortal piece of yours! cos we live forever till the midnight light! gothic the night...
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tarantulla81
October 02, 2009

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that was so sweet. i loved it.
what a beautiful tribute and so well expressed.
amazing work
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plato
October 01, 2009

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Beautiful!
Good stuff Thunder, forever alive never alone, love it! Plato
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VAMPIREFREAK19
September 30, 2009

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awwwwww this is really cute i really liked it... keep up the good work you're an amazing friend and writer and i love reading your stuff and i know i havent been reviewing lately but i will get to it soon otay i promise *hugs* i love you
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wmmelvin
September 30, 2009

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beautiful
well put and sweet

peace
wmmelvin
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Priya
July 10, 2009

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aww
this is beautiful
loved it

couldnt stop smiling as i read it
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ladygothicka
June 25, 2009

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Amazing writing, really deep and gothic. I enjoyed reading this whilst listening to Nightwish - it's an amazing write. Lovely to read, I felt a real connection.
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coenraadvliet
June 11, 2009

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Great
I love this theme. Dark love story. Promising. Can't wait to go on through your poetry.

Poetry is either something that lives like fire inside you — like music to the musician... — or else it is nothing, an empty, formalized bore around which pedants can endlessly drone their nots and explanations.
- -F. Scott Fitzgerald

(Remember to return the favour and give a review back and be brutally honest. Nothing to learn from fake smiles)
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pollypollux
April 25, 2009

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This seems romantic and it's probably okay, but it's really hard to read due to the lack of use of punctuation! If the writer had taken some time to just put the dots and the commas, all would be easier on the eyes. Skipping more than one line might have also helped. No matter how good content is, the poem is little more than worthless without a good form. Keep that in mind ;-)
 Additional Comments (1)

d0niIsWriTTeN
October 01, 2009 		I als0 f0und it difficult t0 read.. but then I th0ught.. maybe it's a part 0f the p0em... part 0f the last breath... like, you can't say as much as y0u want t0 in 0ne breath. Instead 0f pausing 0r st0pping after each sentence, like y0u w0uld n0rmally talk.. y0u'd just say as much as y0u c0uld. wh0 needs punctuati0n.. right? =D l0l
Thunder- I really liked this 0ne =) t'was like...awwww at the end
<3



Mayaisso
March 19, 2009

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lovely
it does sound like a song, I really enjoyed it.
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lastverse
March 07, 2009

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Weeee! Music!
This sounds a lot like a song, what with the rhythm in it. Like the other people, all i can say that it needs is punctuation and spacing. It sounds like a great love story!
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Must
February 24, 2009

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i heard guitar music while reading ur stuff, awesome
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Angel22
February 23, 2009

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I like it its different, thanks for sharing.
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Keaura
February 23, 2009

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Good
You have talent, but it is almost lost with the abscence of punctuations. Edit your poem, amending it to be easy to follow and clearer to the reader. I do like your content though. Hope to see more of your work and with commas and full stops! LOL!!
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jamiefloyd
February 23, 2009

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deep
thumbs up
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JoanDZombie
February 22, 2009

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Hey add some periods boy! this is great but people wont understand it with out periods!
there needs to be some pauses in here! but other than that I love it!!!! even tho they are all run on sentences...
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