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"BRAVE KNIGHT"

Author: elfqueena
Created: April 16, 2012 at 03:14 pm
Entry Type: Poem, G (All)
Category: Fantasy | Fantasy | Fantasy
Entry Stats: 4.9 Stars by 5 users with 5 comments 140 views
"BRAVE KNIGHT" 

Bravely he fought, this brave young knight,
knowing that death would be his this night.
But still onward he fought giving his all
toward his demise, he fought what for him was right.

Onward and upward he fought with the dragon
knowing in the end it was his death he would not regret
Because of the lovely and beautiful Angelita
he would do anything for his beloved Burnett.

Fighting his fear, he stabbed once and then twice
then once again, only to take wounds to his body again and again.
He fought bravely this warrior of old
fought with ferocity and really quiet bold.

Suddenly death was staring him face to face
as he suddenly collapses his time is nearing
and can't seem to breath, he can't keep this pace
he's lost all hope, even his thoughts are clearing.

He's all alone now, no fear in his eyes
the beautiful Angelita he couldn't believe!
She who was crying was laughing to day
when he lay dieing she was acting so gay.



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Comments & Reviews ( X 9)

estevie
April 18, 2012

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What a story! You really have a knack for telling tales, and you've made this so clear in the reader's mind. The only thing that jumped out at me was your repetition of 'suddenly' in stanza 4. For me, that disrupted the flow a little. Other than that, nicely done!

steve
 Additional Comments (1)

elfqueena
April 18, 2012
(Creator) 		awe thank you and I will see about changing it hugs elfqueena



Kassandra
April 18, 2012

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Ahhaaa
Just my kind of tale - ending in death! lol

This one was very ancient feeling as if it held truths and it enthralled me from the very outset. What a story to tell in beautiful rhyme.

Could I request a sequel - with Angelita's untimely death too? Right when she thinks she has the last laugh and is enjoying his death she ummm falls over her own feet off a cliff or something?

LOL Good Work my dear.

Incorrigable and enthralled
your friend and fan
Kassie
 Additional Comments (1)

elfqueena
April 18, 2012
(Creator) 		awe thank you so much and of course you can request a sequal but I dont think I am ready for it yet lol
but I will try hugs mysweetie Sharon



andycapped
April 17, 2012

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Angelita, that bitch!! lol That was a good one, my dear poetress. The words were pouring out. Thanks for sharing, Sharon. Love ya, ~A*C*
 Additional Comments (1)

elfqueena
April 18, 2012
(Creator) 		I wrote this already lol and something happen to it I dont like my computer at all! but thank me love really thank you



Timnacious
April 16, 2012

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Excellent and Engaging
Loved the ending! Didn't expect it.
 Additional Comments (1)

elfqueena
April 16, 2012
(Creator) 		awe well thank you verymuch elfqueena



user22767
April 16, 2012

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That is such a enchanting tale to bad it ended in misery for the poor night This was told fabulously!
 Additional Comments (1)

elfqueena
April 16, 2012
(Creator) 		thank you so much I appreciate that, elfqueena



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