Profile Home My Writing About Me Latest News
Message Me Members Area Writers-Network Upgrade to PRO

Heart Failure


Author: ThunderStorm
Created: November 21, 2010 at 12:33 pm
Entry Type: Poem, T (13+)
Category: Death | Horror | Dark
Entry Stats: 4.41 Stars by 6 users with 6 comments 216 views

Heart Failure 
First you in love

Then you recognize your heart collapses

In the middle of the floor

Then blood starts trickling on your lucky shirt

Then your hands covered in blood trying safe your heart

But there is no hope tries to save your heart

But before your heart stops beating

You slowly fade away in the galaxy

Trying finding a way to find a donor who has a heart

To replaced all enteral bleeding


Author Notes
This Poem is to remember of my painful year in 2001


 

The author would love to hear your feedback but you must be logged in to do that. If you are a member of Writers-Network click here to login and review this writing entry.

Not a member? Not a problem! You can register here, it's free for everyone

Comments & Reviews ( X 5)

daydreamer1717
February 19, 2011

Helpful: Thumbs Up Thumbs Down
Emotional
There are some grammatical errors, however, I like the idea here of a "bleeding heart" and fading away. Thanks for sharing and keep writing!

There are no comments on this review.



Caroline
November 24, 2010

Helpful: Thumbs Up Thumbs Down
provocative
I have been meaning to read some of your work, and I am glad I did. This is outstanding. I love what you say about trying to find a way to find a donor who has a heart! beautiful!!

There are no comments on this review.



TaylorSwiftFan22
November 21, 2010

Helpful: Thumbs Up Thumbs Down
a good poem but there are some spelling errors. check back on those with your own eye.

There are no comments on this review.



NatureBoy
November 21, 2010

Helpful: Thumbs Up Thumbs Down
Your poems, I can imagine you sitting in the calm, reading poetry from a notebook, ominious and mysteriously. idk. I really like this, you tell a story in blunt words and sentences. Which doesnt work alot, but it works for you. I like the language you've made for youself.

There are no comments on this review.



HerSpark
November 21, 2010

Helpful: Thumbs Up Thumbs Down
i think you need to read it through again it doesn't always make sense. nice idea though. x ells

There are no comments on this review.



kamranali
November 21, 2010

Helpful: Thumbs Up Thumbs Down
As if written from your very own heart. Extremely good.

There are no comments on this review.




      

Authors, Share Your Book with Millions of Readers







Sponsored Ads By Members



   Writers-Network.com was granted non-exclusive rights to display this work
   All poetry, stories, columns, and other member contributions are owned solely by the poster
   © Writers-Network.com - All Rights Reserved
   Get Your Free Poetry Site!  |  Read Todays' Poems  |  Upgrade to PRO  |  Writing Community