Step into my Disturbed Thoughts... | MagicMJ at Writers-Network

Silently Waiting

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Author: MagicMJ

Created: November 10, 2010 at 10:08 am

Entry Type: Poem, G (All)

Category: Sad | General/Other | General/Other

Entry Stats: 4.8 Stars by 5 users with 6 comments 129 views

Silently Waiting

I am silently waiting
Alone in my room
In the darkness
In the coldness
Watching the moon

I am silently waiting
Holding my breath
Feeling my heart
Clearing my thoughts
Closing my eyes

I am silently waiting
For the moment
When I will stop
Silently waiting for YOU

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Comments & Reviews (

X 4)

benjamin006
November 12, 2010

Helpful:

Pulchrituously Splendid!

"Those who patiently waits at the door. Will prevail with love and beauty on the otherside." - Benjamin

Additional Comments (1)

MagicMJ
November 12, 2010
(Creator)

thanks a lot...

AlanP
November 12, 2010

Helpful:

Quietly beautiful

Loved this poem, it's very reflective and gives me a sense of comfort despite it's somber tone and subject. I enjoyed trying to work out what part the moon is playing in your poem. The moon as we know reflects the light of the sun to guide us through the darkness. It also controls our tides. Maybe you use the metaphor to mean the tide is your emotions, the moon controls the tide, your guide is toying with your emotions. This (for me) make sthe moon the one you are waiting for. The light in your life in a time of darkness, the one who controls your emotions. Almost toying with them.

Great read. Keep up the good work.

Additional Comments (1)

MagicMJ
November 12, 2010
(Creator)

thanks a lot for the wonderful comment... much appreciated

gomsi
November 10, 2010

Helpful:

Great

Love brings patience as well.Great poem with deep thoughts and nice flow. Enjoyed reading it.
Gomsi.

Additional Comments (1)

MagicMJ
November 10, 2010
(Creator)

Thanks gomsi

stephen_werdna18
November 10, 2010

Helpful:

I like this Ate. It's short, but the wanting and hopelessness of getting over a person is greatly expressed here. It also has a lot to say despite being a short piece and it is full of emotions. Well done

Additional Comments (1)

MagicMJ
November 10, 2010
(Creator)

Salamat ng marami bunso

Arcanin
November 10, 2010

Helpful:

Deep. I like the emotions and the flow is great. Very good work. Context is great, and very nice rhyme. You're a great writer, MJ. Thanks for sharing, and keep on writing!

- Arc.

Additional Comments (1)

MagicMJ
November 10, 2010
(Creator)

thanks a lot smexy arc... lol...

Deedee27
November 10, 2010

Helpful:

Sweet and Dark

I love that you are able to convey the longing for a love but also the unfairness of having to wait patiently and silently shows through a bit. Whatever the reason for waiting I feel that the writer has come to terms with it and there is a strong love here.

Holding my breath
Feeling my heart
Clearing my thoughts

I loved these three lines because it created an image of someone in a window staring at the vast nothingness and waiting....great job, as always!! Dee

Additional Comments (1)

MagicMJ
November 10, 2010
(Creator)

thanks a lot for the kind words...

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