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Death



Author: MagicMJ
Created: November 07, 2010 at 05:50 pm
Entry Type: Poem, T (13+)
Category: Sad | Love | Dark
Entry Stats: 4.8 Stars by 5 users with 8 comments 181 views

Death 
You came in unconscious
But the doctors said you're fine
Your Vital signs were okay
Pulse rate and heartbeat normal
You're breathing perfectly well
No dilation or constriction in the eyes
Blood pressure is not high nor low
It's just that your consciousness lost

They try to figure it out
What went wrong
They draw some blood
Hook some IV to make sure
But still your eyes were shut
Not responding to the world
Not a movement from you
You seemed dead in one look

Your blood exams were normal
They are getting uneasy now
Seemed everything is right
Yet you're far from life
How come you're still unconscious
It's been hours now, it can't be coma
You got to be alive, they can't let it be
They need you to open your eyes

Then a man came in, with tears in his eyes
Everyone felt their hearts fell, seeing him cry
He must be her husband, such a pity sight
They asked him who he was and they're not right
He said he's the man who took her heart
But he did forget to give it back, he still holds her heart
He wandered off and shared his time with many girls
He forgot that something he still owns

After so many years, she suffered a lot
Trying to live without her heart
And he was such a dumb a**hole
Leaving her alone in that dark hole
"How can I keep her heart and leave it cold
Why didn't I give it back so she can move on
I was so selfish to not let her go
But all along I was in someone else's door"

Now she won't wake up because she's gone
She's more than dead, she's been dead for long
It's too late now, now that he has the guts
To return her heart and offer his as well
His heart is no good now, because it has lost
The one true thing that it longed for
It's not her heart that he wants to own
But the loving beat inside it, but he's too deaf to hear it

Now death is the only thing
For him to hear her heartbeat...


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Last Modified: November 08, 2010 at 04:18 am


Author Notes
just some thoughts... don't know if it made sense...


 

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Comments & Reviews ( X 7)

MichaelFrost
November 12, 2010

Helpful: Thumbs Up Thumbs Down
Brilliant!
Words cannot describe what a dark ride I took with this one. Just simply amazing!

Cheers, cheers, SL and more cheers! My new fav of yours!!

--Michael Frost

MagicMJ
November 12, 2010
(Creator)
aww... thanks a lot Mr. Frost... lol...

those kind words brought a big smile to me...




silverwings
November 12, 2010

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Excellent
Beautifully written MJ...so sad and I am sure there are many out there whose hearts have been broken...I loved the way you wrote this...Silver Wings...aka...Jules...

MagicMJ
November 12, 2010
(Creator)
heya silverwings... wow it's been a while...

this truly touched my heart... reading those kind words from you...

thanks a lot



washedupwriter
November 09, 2010

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This was painful to read. The emotions were so strong and hard hitting.

Wow MJ, this was an amazing write, loved every single line of it.

Keep up the great work!!

another SL for you!

MagicMJ
November 10, 2010
(Creator)
aww... thanks a lot wuw



mjkincaid55
November 08, 2010

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Good
and very deep I might add

MagicMJ
November 08, 2010
(Creator)
thanks



stephen_werdna18
November 08, 2010

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I like it Ate MJ. It speaks of the boy's desperation for the girl to be alive again. To feel the girl's love, her life, every beat of her heart and his regret for not being able to give his all in their relationship. The emotion here is clearly expressed. Well done

MagicMJ
November 08, 2010
(Creator)
Thanks a lot Bunso



gomsi
November 08, 2010

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Well written
Wow! That was really awesome. Great thoughts for this poem.Enjoyed reading it.

MagicMJ
November 08, 2010
(Creator)
Thanks a lot...



benjamin006
November 08, 2010

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Quite Sad :(
Makes me want to cry now. You don't want to see an old man cry ...do you? lol

MagicMJ
November 08, 2010
(Creator)
hahaha... nah... I don't want an old man crying... lol...
Thanks a biggie for the review



Kassandra
November 07, 2010

Helpful: Thumbs Up Thumbs Down
So Sad
This was such a sad piece hun. I do hope he found a way to bring her back.
Please write happy ..... please
Take Care
Yours Kassie

MagicMJ
November 08, 2010
(Creator)
Hey Kass, thanks a biggie for the review...

lol... of course I will write happy...






      

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