well jon it seems as though you have captured the sick reality in our time,my mum was the same about "skinheads".so i let my hair grow.....then it was those f**king "hippies".couldnt win...so at the hieght of long hair and feather cuts. i got an elvis looking thing going on...she said i looked respectical. so i grew my hair.....but i never carried a "gun" or a knofe. great read brother...joe.
Very well done! Great flow and rythm as usual, great expression and use/choice of words/language. You are a very talented writer, keep it up! I look forward to reading some exceptional work from you in the future! Take care!
Thank you for your kind and always thoughtful comments Melissa, I'm so glad you enjoyed it and could relate to the message it projects my friend...Thank you...I always treasure your opinion on my work...You're a diamond....I hope you're having a wonderful day
I couldn't agree with you more buddy....It's going to take a lot of time before this way of life ...sees the change...and that's more innocent lives not being affected by gang violence....Cheers buddy...I'm glad you enjoyed it and that you could relate to its inner message...it means alot my friend...Thank you....Yo Yo and a cuppa coco
hi jon london this poem it remains me of a true thug or a true line of the gangstas of all looks like i need to watch scarface again lol you have done it again my man keep on smiling my best friend Cheers to you buddy
I really enjoyed reading this piece. It flowed really well. I love the message behind it as well, and I think that unfortunately, a lot of people who are in this situation are too deep to realize that their lives are over. I thought you did a very good job writing this piece. I look forward to reading more of your work.
Thank you Marilyn my friend, I'm so glad you enjoyed it..and could relate to its inner message ...thank you...I do know what you mean by your comment...for some this way of life seems straight forward...but I suppose that's to be expected when the consider their fellow gang bangers as their family....The future is certainly uncertain to say the least my friend...Again thank you for your kind and thoughtful comments....I appreciate them deeply
Hi Kayla my friend...Thank you for your kind and thoughtful comment...as for the rhyme and meter...well I thought I make a break from what readers expect to find in my work...far too many force rhymes...staggered patterns work much better I find...and something I am now working with...a break from the norm so to speak...I have little respect for syllabal counts in poetry...is doesn't add any worth to the power of expression...don't you think ? ....Anyway thank you for your wonderful comments...I appreciate them deeply my friend
This is brilliant Jon. I loved to read this. It flows so well and tells such a tale. It really sums up a gangsters life and gets a message across that whilst many might find it exciting to be a gangster, the end result is not exactly what they wanted.
Thank you for your kind and always thoughtful comments James, I appreciate and value your opinion so much on my work...Thanks buddy...as for the message with the poem....some how..I think it will fall short of changing many views upon the life of a gang member...to them...it's family...and bloods thicker than water...such a shame so many turn to this way of life...just to feel respected
Once again you compose a write with all the flow and imagery as all ways my friend.
Though with this one, you tell the story of the life that so many are living today and it is a waste but they don't see it yet. The end will come like you have pened down, and then the judgement.
When I read this write, I also think about a friend that got shot and killed just a few days back. A man tried to rod the store where my friend work at, and my friend through up his hands and said help. The man shot and killed my friend, then ran off, but the shooter got his payday for the cops had to shoot him and he died as well.
Daryl ...I am so sorry to hear of your loss..I truly am...it's such a senseless death...why so many practice this way of life many will never fully understand...but I do know...as wrong as many of us feel about it...there are those who have been given very little choice...other than to join a gang....but where does it lead them....blinded by the lights...All will come to an end....but for others ...who are on the receiving end of a gun or a knife....Their beliefs in society and the protection required in so many streets world wide...seems to be the best option available to those..too scared to walk outside their doors after a certain hour.....nothing, or no one is safe in this world...and with one reason behind it....Violence.....Thank you for your kind and always thoughtful comments Daryl....I appreciate them deeply my friend...Again..I am sorry that you lost your friend to this way of life...GBYA my friend
very descriptive Jon , I like the concept and the way you wrote this loved the hey little gangsta, very good read here and so true, it flowed off the tongue so smoothly , very easy to read .very cool DUDE lol , thanks for sharing babe
of course I have babe you are one of the good writers on here I enjoy reading your work babe , your one of my mentors I guess is the word i am looking for , I have learned to better my writing from your work and several others , so I enjoy reading your work , and your so welcomed my dear friend , ( even if I dont see good sometimes lol, had my coffee , hugs Sharon
I love this poem, It is inspiring and truthful. I can't tell you how many times I've seen Lockup(MSNBC) and wondered how these people got into their gangs. Not that it's hard to do, it's just that I wonder about things like that. I hope that you've inspired many people to stay away from gangs and all that bullcrap they spew about brotherhood, when they would kill you if they got the chance. Just to get a higher ranking in the gang.