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A Poem by ThunderStorm


Author: ThunderStorm
Created: August 29, 2010 at 08:44 pm
Upload Type: Poem, G (All)  
Category: Romance | Love | Fantasy
Upload Stats: 4.28 Stars by 7 users with 7 comments and 149 views

Amazing spirits  

My poetry comes from inside, deep within my very own heart it flows with itís own charisma.

I spare no Expense in writing in these lines, I sacrifice so much to make these poems work.

I look through the eyes, to see in the future it brings a memorable will.

To see a fulfilled a destiny, or a legacy to see a spirit dwells inside your hearts.

Before you seal your luck, inside your own internal fortunes.

Donít bend down on your knees; it will bring pain and suffering.

To enjoy the 1 thing we like so much, and that my friends.

Is writing an awesome poem, or a story it brings our inner minds.

To see our last breathe, it see us thinking of our dreams.


© ThunderStorm - all rights reserved


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Comments & Reviews



pifcat2006
September 01, 2010
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Excellent
You write about your feelings so well Thunderstorm. I feel as though I "can" see inside your heart. Your efforts are not wasted as you express yourself very well.


There are no comments on this review.




Kassandra
August 30, 2010
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Lovely insights
Our Dreams to the very end what a fantastic piece this is, I loved the idea this was a write about writes Really loved it. Well done Storm
Yours Kassie


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justbromantic
August 29, 2010
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you're right
the mind of the writer. simply true. :-)


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nataliemccart
August 29, 2010
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Very true words.


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emeraldeyes
August 29, 2010
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Nicely Said
Hello Thunderstorm. . . It is always a pleasure to read your writings. Everything you say comes from your heart! Nice writing my friend! Peace ee


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Whitesapphires
August 29, 2010
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Hm
Hm well I liked this but I think the word awesome kind of ruins the beauty of it. Because it's so eloquent and deep and then awesome seems like kind of a casual, not so deep word. And also, I think it would be better if you spelled out the 1. But all together I like the poem.


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america220
August 29, 2010
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It's got potential.
I like that you have heart in this poem. you mean every word. I like that.

Things to work on though:
The lines are a bit too long. break them up, the poem will flow a lot better. Change 1 to one. and in
"To enjoy the 1 thing we like so much, and that my friends.

Is writing an awesome poem, or a story it brings our inner minds. "

put a comma after "friends" or just take the period off. it'll flow a little better.

Great job writing this poem though!


There are no comments on this review.




      

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