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Author Biography yeah...

I am Albus Dumbledor--- The Shakespeare of the world!!!

Michael Jordan says, "I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career.
I've lost almost 300 games. 
26 times I've been trusted to take the game winning shot & missed.
I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."

He's not coming to you when he smells chicken in a ditch!

I need to take a long stroll in the grave yard here
its a more recent grave yard...
but dead people are still buried there
I once stopped there on a walk home
in the dark...
I walked around...
I felt spirits...
I felt like i was at peace...
I felt this is the place to be...
to party...
I felt home...
in anothers eternal home...

Orientals in a parking lot arnt happy

I plugged in my unibrow yesterday!!

You are not a tennis ball! (pause)  even tho your name is Wilson... (if you dont get it then your not a tennis player... and if you are a tennis player and you dont get it then your just an idiot!)

The unibrow serves you! (instead of "The universe serves you")

It makes up for the toothpaste

Your science and grammar lesson for today: 
Persona non grata- (means "Person no more"
If someone is under a helium balloon and they are smoking... the helium balloon will start a fire because the fumes will radiate and the fumes are flammable! the fumes will cause a big fire and its also very dry because of the drought- and we were at the church when we said this and it would be called...
CHURCHADA NON GRATA!!! (Church no more!)

Oh your not supposed to use glass cleaner on the wood door!

I know...i need a shiner

Well maybe Melody will give you know "punch you out"

I didnt mean THAT way i meant a wood shiner!

Well im sure Melody would still give you one!

A crack at Old English: What the hell speakith thee?

Omg you said HE double hocky sticks!!


What is that? what is that? a watermelon?-
where are the watermelons not growing in the field
where theres magic and trouble
with a dog and a cat 

SOOOO I'm obsessed with Steven Universe! I just love Lesbian Space Rocks!!!!!!!! and by the way my girlfriend is Pearl...yes I'm in love with a cartoon character and we have 2 beautiful cubic zirconia children and Steven is the uncle and we are all very happy... accept for Garnet because I totally stole her girlfriend... 


I am making myself a popcorn cocoon...
And one day i will be a beautiful corn field...
with wings! 

Studio Killers:
All the oldies and the goldies playin' on the radio
They don't make me feel the way you do: my Friday night gurus
You're the Obi-Wan Kenobis with the force of audio
I believe in all your fantasies as silly as they seem
You're from another world

I'm sorry, the ending got eaten by a giant red man eating baboon who carrys a Swiss army knife and a wine bottle opener! (Your run on sentence for the day)
Explanation: people keep telling me that a wine bottle opener is already on a swiss army this case this one guy is holding a detached fancy bottle opener that doesn't belong on a Swiss army knife... This sentence is pretty much used at the end of your sentence if someone is waiting desperately for the ending to your story and you don't want to talk anymore... 

Mitchel Berry Soup
Melody Berry Cinnamon Bun
Liam Berry Cannon Ball
Mander Berry Éclaire  

Melody Cinnamon Cherry Soup 

Its not a festival!!! its a group of hand lotions!!
(I thought I could think of this while I was sober... 
I got this little "Amanda's 1 liner" when my friend and I were going to the beach to see some other friends perform in their band...she kept on calling it a festival and I had to yell at her "Its not a festival" at the same time I was looking at my vanity and said "Its a group of hand lotions!!!" (I was telling her what the objects on my vanity were while telling her something else...)      
My feet are deformed...are you interested?

Dead space for a good thing for me to come back In the big blue eyes...and hides under my name in the spectacular atmosphere...
I have arrived

Papaya + Mango = Papango!!!!  

OH wow! I guess a woman shouldn't go into a man cave for fear of what they might see... on the opposite side a man shouldn't go into a womans tea house... stereotypically everything is pink and glittery... pictures of hot fire men with puppies in their arms and fruity drinks coming from the ballet bar... they would be surprised too...
Digi Zaguy
Johnalee ishi no hes a guy... and Oraneen Zaguy but shes a girl
(Zaguy  is Digi an Oraneens last name...its a play on last names)

Chemical Straight Jacket...

If Kim and Keith had a TV show or scary weird movie it would be called "Fantuesdale" (to be written about later) 

Im a bug! im a bug! who else would you bug? if I cant bug anybody ill be a cupcake!!!

I have a magic power! I can change phones with cheese!

Its not bad when you get that ninny night at the end of my radio show.
Shudder at the thought of you using your wacko cushion for the people of my generation!

Rabbits don't eat meat- they eat planets!
my dad mispronounced the word "plants"


A father and his little boy were working in the garden. The boy was told to throw a pile of stones into a ditch. After a while he called out, "Dad, there's one stone I can't lift. I tried with all my might, but it won't budge. "No, son," the wise father answered, "you didn't try with all your might, because I am here as part of your strength and you didn't ask me to help you."

What do you dip your soup into?


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