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Words of Solace (Poems of Comfort)


JohnCreekmore
Wed Mar 22 22:52:35 2017

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My Review of Why me by raidonce
Introspection
This more like a memoir than a poem. It reveals the author to be an introspective person who lives deeper than on the surface of life, where people live in ruts of resignation or expend their frustrations on others. The last line is the key to the poem. The writer has learned to make the best of a difficult situation and is even able to recognize the good things in her life and be grateful for them. Still, she remains unhappy. It could be that life arranges itself in a series of lessons whereby people, if they are attentive, can be led back to what they really are, which is where unhappiness ends. The writer may be on the brink of that discovery now, if she is patient and keeps the faith.

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JohnCreekmore
Tue Mar 21 23:28:36 2017

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My Review of Your Last Breath by michaelgallatin
Win some....
And just think, if the Hindus are right, you get to come back and do the whole damned thing over again. Good rhyming and pacing here, and a thoughtful look at a topic that concerns many of us.

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JohnCreekmore
Tue Mar 21 23:22:25 2017

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My Review of
Unspoken
by Littlesong
Unrequited
In this offering the poet broaches the subject of the frustration of unrequited love. The first two verses are heavy with the bitterness of rejection. The speaker's anger toward the reticent lover is palpable, so we can almost see the tears in her eyes as she reviles him for having chosen to "sever the string." In the last two verses the harshness of her anger has mellowed somewhat, but she still voices her bitterness about his insensitive treatment of her: "I trusted you with a tear/ With a shoulder". In the last verse we see the real truth, however. She's still hung up on the guy: "In the twist of suffering/ Still yearns to be/ The utterance of his lips/ The Pearl of his Pen." God, how romantic love sucks! Get over him, kid, he's not worth it. He's a lesson, nothing more. This is a very heartfelt effort, moving and full of feeling. Good work.

Suggestions: At the end of verse 1, the word sore doesn't seem to fit. Did you mean pain? That would probably be a better choice. In verse 2, the same is true of the word place. Something like heart might be better. In verse 3, dwell needs an s on the end.

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JohnCreekmore
Mon Mar 20 22:46:42 2017

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My Review of It's Been a While by survivethesound
Depression
What you are describing sounds very like depression. Waiting won't work. Get help.

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JohnCreekmore
Mon Mar 20 22:40:58 2017

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My Review of In The Corner by Constance_
Drug?
I don't quite regard it as being like a drug, but it is certainly a necessity.

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JohnCreekmore
Sun Mar 19 20:50:02 2017

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My Review of Could be an early Farewell by matelotrod
Technology
Say it ain't so, Rod.

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JohnCreekmore
Sun Mar 19 20:47:26 2017

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My Review of Strut To Heaven's Door by michaelgallatin
Hail, hail
He was indeed quite a showman. Of all his songs, the one I remember most is "The Promised Land," probably because the story it tells begins in my hometown, Norfolk, Va.
A very nice tribute to a great performer.

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JohnCreekmore
Sat Mar 18 20:45:24 2017

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My Review of Where God Lives by SketerMichaels
NDE?
Well, maybe not the full near death experience, with the tunnel and the being of light, etc, but it sounds like what must happen as a prologue to that. We have the picture of one who is in the process of dying, feeling life slowly leaving him. It is interesting to read of the things that go through his mind, the memories of childhood, the mundane things he probably had never noticed before illness laid him low. Spiritual questions trouble him now, as he wonders where God is. He seems to have some kind of epiphany, experiences a feeling of assurance: "Somewhere,/ something lives/ in the hidden, unheard,/ just outside my door." Through the window he can see vegetation making its first appearance, a symbol of life's persistence. A passage from the Bible, the words of King David on his deathbed, comes to his mind. It is a statement of faith in "an everlasting covenant" with God. The last verse is phrased as a question, but is actually a declaration that the house of God awaits the faithful. This is an intense work dealing with the primal question of us all: Is there something on the other side of the great night? Very good work here.

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JohnCreekmore
Fri Mar 17 23:04:44 2017

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My Review of Blank by RamSlade
Writers Block
This is an elegant look at the creative process and its frustrations. The stanzas are full of vivid imagery about the agonies poets endure to get the right words on paper: "a-lost-boy-like loathing of the child within the versifier/ seeking bearing like the blind, sans dog." Which of us has not raged at a reluctant muse that will not be stimulated? Sandwiched between the stanzas are rhyming couplets that summarize them briefly "ideas zip/ can't get a grip." That describes my frustration in such situations perfectly. Succeeding verses describe the creator's predicament in greater detail, each followed by an epigrammatic couplet. The last verse has the poet almost at the point of madness when he offers a prayerlike request to the spirits of great poets past. Evidently they hear him, for the last couplet informs us, "fondles the pen/ greatness begins." I have never seen this style of writing from this poet before. I hope to see more.

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JohnCreekmore
Thu Mar 16 21:26:10 2017

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My Review of You sent me flowers by JimSlaughter
Loss
I have the feeling that the one for whom the letter was intended is a lot less hard on the writer than he is on himself. All relationships contain regrets by both partners. I also have the feeling that the deep love shown in the last verse was always there, and both sides were aware of it.

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JohnCreekmore
Thu Mar 16 21:17:03 2017

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My Review of
~*Sweet Song*~
by Littlesong
Spiritual love
This is another of this poet's metaphysical offerings, in which she writes of a kind of love that transcends the physical and becomes an actual merging of souls. Verse 1 could be taken for any romantic scene, but it is actually the prologue that leads to a rising into something greater: "Leave the world outside," meaning the physical world with all its changes and disappointments. "Dwell tonight with me" is the invitation to merge, to become one in love. The last verse describes that love in its full flower: "Pull my soul/ Bare up into your palms/ and show me the difference/ When souls make love." This is something that goes beyond ordinary human love, and while it could represent that, it could also represent the soul's merger with its Divine Source. Such lines might have been written by St. Teresa of Avila. Powerful stuff here

Suggestion: Elizabethan terms can be tricky. In verse 2, "thine one" could benefit from dropping the one and letting thine stand alone. In the next line, "thine fibers" should be "thy fibers."

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JohnCreekmore
Thu Mar 16 20:56:01 2017

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My Review of Tears by Valentine
Grief
Grief is often something that does not end when some official grieving period does. Small things unexpectedly encountered that are reminders of the loss can trigger the whole cycle again. I get that feeling from this offering. My impression is that the loss is not something recent, but the wound it left has never fully closed. Sometimes being able to write about it can help promote healing. I hope this effort has had something of that effect.

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JohnCreekmore
Thu Mar 16 20:48:29 2017

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My Review of Sonnet- XXII by darkelegy
Bardic
This is a four barrel, brass plated 14 lines of iambic pentameter Shakespearean sonnet. The sentiments and themes are also Shakespearean. I believe the Bard would be proud. Fine work here.

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JohnCreekmore
Wed Mar 15 21:22:45 2017

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My Review of Hello, Farewell by augustrush
To sleep, to dream....
Some think dreams like the one described in this poem are just creations of the mind, others believe they represent communication from beyond the grave. Whatever the case, this one is extremely poignant, the speaker questioning gently a youth whose appearance has not been changed by his passing. While the speaker clearly is still in pain over the death, which was apparently a suicide, the boy doesn't seem to think it was any big deal. When asked if he regrets the choice he made, he replies "It wouldn't matter because it wouldn't change anything." When asked if dying hurts, he says, "Sometimes," but nothing more. As the speaker steps away, visibly moved, the boy says simply, in the same "big deal" tone, "eventually everyone dies." The kid's message, though unsettling in a way, is in another consoling. Even at their apparent worst, things are not as bad as they seem. I would like to know if this dream really occurred. If so, the poet was in touch with Universal Wisdom. Good work here.

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JohnCreekmore
Wed Mar 15 21:00:17 2017

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My Review of Session One by oftheashes
Therapy
In this offering, the speaker appears to be talking to a new therapist. According to the profile the poet is female, so I am assuming the speaker is, too. There is the impression that she has been through therapy before, apparently not too successfully, as her voice is edgy, almost desperate. "Can you untie the knots?" she asks, almost demandingly. Whatever the problem is, she seems to feel that it is almost impervious to help, something that may prove too much for this therapist's skills, as it apparently has been for previous ones. Adding to the problem's depth, each stanza ends with the same question: "Can you stomach it?" She desperately wants to get past it, but it appears to occupy almost every aspect of her life: "It's everywhere, in fact." She seems to be seeking reassurance that this therapist will stay the course with her, as if she doubts that such will be the outcome. I certainly hope this turns out well for her; otherwise, this scene will be repeated. Very good effort here, effectively capturing a picture of anxiety.

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JohnCreekmore
Tue Mar 14 22:22:43 2017

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My Review of Who Do You Trust? by richom
Timely
This is a very pertinent piece, Richard, especially in these times. I believe cynicism is another step on the road to depression, aging a person prematurely. Although the political situation is almost an invitation to be a cynic, we must train ourselves to focus on those we can trust, because in truth, they far outnumber the conmen.

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JohnCreekmore
Tue Mar 14 22:12:17 2017

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My Review of
Sacred
by Littlesong
Longing
Like many of this poet's offerings, this one seems to reflect the speaker's longing for the return of a lost love. Verse 1 calls up the memory of the unrestrained devotion that the speaker poured in to the relationship. Verse 2 speaks of the seeming eternal quality of the love. It is in verse 3 that we first learn that the bond has somehow been broken, for the speaker mentions waiting for the return of the beloved. In verse 4 the speaker talks of having been "washed away by falling words," a hint of the distancing that has taken place. She speaks of desiring the beloved's words "to bless me with a delusion/that I'm the only woman/ in his kingdom". This, I think, is the crux of the poem. The purity of her devotion has not been returned; apparently the gentleman favors more than a single lady. The last words refer to her not belonging in his kingdom. It's the old, old story: loving but not being loved in return. Hopefully, she will be able to look back on this episode as a learning experience, but right now it hurts too, too much. Another moving one. Well done.

Consider putting an "of" after Thousands in verse 2. In verse 3, replace the haves with
has. In verse 4, replace thy ones with thine.

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JohnCreekmore
Tue Mar 14 21:45:22 2017

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My Review of Missing You by LLMartin
Creating a mood
This is a love poem that avoids all the "Can't live without you, baby" cliches so characteristic of the genre. The poet uses imagery effectively and intelligently to create the mood of separation from the beloved: "The air feels deflated and flat like it does not/ Satisfy the body's need for sustenance/ One hydrogen atom is missing from the formula." Because we can identify with these images, we can feel what the speaker is feeling. Sparely worded and brief, the poem covers a lot of ground in a few lines. Well done.

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JohnCreekmore
Sun Mar 12 21:15:40 2017

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My Review of Deadened Lives by odinroark
Whose fault
The poet is bitter at the waste called war and rightfully so. As many have done, he faults certain factions, "war mongers" as he calls them, for leading the masses to repeated slaughter: "to line pockets,/ return favors,/ stay in office/ or perhaps broaden/ a smiling decision maker's agenda." This may be true in many cases, but it does not account for those leaders who fought in genuine self defense, such as Churchill and FDR. Also, I think wars might exist without the influence of the so-called "war hawks." The philosopher Pascal once said something to the effect that all of man's problems stem from his inability to sit quietly in a room by himself. There may be something in us that makes us believe butchery is better than boredom, and so we develop great and conflicting causes to give our lives purpose. As to Switzerland, it has never been a superpower and thus has never been the subject of petitions by others to intervene in their affairs. As to when this madness will end, it will not until enough people decide they don't want to participate any longer and not before then.

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JohnCreekmore
Sat Mar 11 21:48:42 2017

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My Review of Tender Heart by Littlesong
Sensual
The imagery in this one is very sensual. We get the picture of a lover looking on as the beloved sleeps after a passionate round of lovemaking. I liked especially the lines "the trembles of your breaths/ over my bare shoulders/ wandering with pleasure/ taking me where I'm lost/ and catch me again". They conjure up a vision that makes us feel the erotic sensation of breath caressing bare skin. The entire work is filled with such images: "uncontrolled desire/ urging need/ to awaken Your core/ the way you awake mine". The poet builds us up to a crescendo of desire and then in the last verse eases us back to a scene of patient admiration as the lover is content to bask in the presence of the beloved. Quite an emotional trip here. The only shortcomings I find are in verse 3, where line 2 seems to lack completion, hanging there like an amputated limb; and in line 5, where "makes" could do without an "s" on the end. Otherwise, it's a picture of beautifully restrained erotica. Very good work.

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JohnCreekmore
Thu Mar 9 20:58:16 2017

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My Review of FITTING by kitty
Society today
We know all about the rat race in the US, Kitty. Right now, the rats seem to be winning the race.

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JohnCreekmore
Mon Mar 6 22:06:53 2017

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My Review of Married to Two by richom
What a relief!
For a while, you had me going. Sometimes Matelrod will go on like this, but without the disclaimer afterward. For a lot of people, such a situation is reality.

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JohnCreekmore
Sun Mar 5 22:35:19 2017

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My Review of Lucifer Wept by JimSlaughter
Paging Sean Spicer
It could be you're right, Jim. It could be that we've been getting "fake news" about the Prince of Darkness all along. My theory is he's the original disgruntled former employee.

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JohnCreekmore
Sun Mar 5 16:59:17 2017

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My Review of Standing tall by SandraMartyres
Moving On
This has the sound of one who grew up in a very traditional, male dominated society and who, through some apparently difficult relationship, has attained a degree of independence and likes it. It is almost like a fable that teaches a message: what is apparent disaster can actually be a door to something better. Good advice to someone who feels stuck.

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JohnCreekmore
Sun Mar 5 16:51:27 2017

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My Review of War by a112yearoldman
Images of War
I like the way this one linked together terse but powerful images that convey the human cost of war. It is not told in a traditional time sequence but rather simply presents pictures that put the reader in the position of observer. The last line, "faces glow within each others warmth" describes love, the one thing war cannot destroy. Very nice work here.

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