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Words of Solace (Poems of Comfort)


JohnCreekmore
Mon Apr 24 20:58:53 2017

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My Review of His Last Move by odinroark
IED
Though it never specifically says so, what we are witnessing as we read this poem are the last moments of a boy's life. The very first word, "Click," tells us the child, probably somewhere in the middle east, has unwittingly triggered the detonation process of an improvised explosive device (IED), a homemade implement of destruction like those which have made amputees of so many American soldiers. The first several verses describe the boy's life, one of poverty lived in a mud roofed hut. Now, as he waits transfixed for the second click, which he will not hear because he will be blown to pieces, he yearns to be on the other side of the road, away from the "improvised hatred" with which fanatics have sewn the ground. His last thoughts are of a chess game with his brother's grin upon beating him. He's going to lose this game, too. He wishes he could take back that last move. Stories like this one are played out every day in our time. When will they ever end? Well done.

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JohnCreekmore
Sun Apr 23 23:18:44 2017

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My Review of Waiting by Stella
Preparation
I liked the way this one builds up the romantic tension as it approaches the last verse, but I must admit I am drawing a blank on that verse. Perhaps it is my own denseness, but I can't relate it to the rest of the poem.

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JohnCreekmore
Sun Apr 23 23:08:32 2017

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My Review of APARA by Malpa
Impermanence
I love the form the poet chose for this work. The lean, spare but evocative lines say much while saying little. We see how even long lived cultures give way to change, as will the cultures that replace them. True stillness exists only in the mind. Well done.

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JohnCreekmore
Sun Apr 23 23:01:07 2017

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My Review of Retire-Expire by matelotrod
Familiar
Verse 5 stood out for me. I try to help my wife make up the beds, but somehow I never do it right. I have begun to call her "the bed nazi."

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JohnCreekmore
Sat Apr 22 22:52:21 2017

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My Review of Children's War Rhymes by michaelgallatin
War
Very creative adaptation of nursery rhymes to illustrate the ghastliness of war. Very good pacing, unique rhymes. Well done.

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JohnCreekmore
Sat Apr 22 22:42:14 2017

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My Review of First time by PeaceNyumbaiza
Hot
Very earthy and sensuous, without using a single vulgar word. Liked especially the last line.

PS: Do spellcheck on patels and Marry.

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JohnCreekmore
Sat Apr 22 22:24:02 2017

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My Review of Where have all the young men gone? by JimSlaughter
Gone for soldiers
Good rhyming, good meter, good philosophy here, Jim. I have often wondered if there is not a fair portion of humanity that either consciously or unconsciously desires war for one reason or the other. A few years back there was a movie called "The Hurt Locker," the main character of which could not bear the day to day stuff of civilian life and reenlisted to go back to Iraq.

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JohnCreekmore
Thu Apr 20 21:54:33 2017

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My Review of You took my Hand by Stella
Memoir
This one has an autobiographical sound to it. The poet titillates us at first with the apparent picture of budding young love. We think we are seeing a young person's first venture into romance, the first tentative tactile experience of love. Well, apparently the relationship lasted, because we find in the last verse that the first experience mentioned above occurred when they were four years old. Sometimes love at first sight means the very first sight. Nicely rhymed and told, this is a charming piece.

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JohnCreekmore
Thu Apr 20 21:39:32 2017

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My Review of Control Your Life by TempestOfNature
Psychological musing
This work comes across like an inner conversation, the way we talk to ourselves when in introspection about our lives. The speaker seems to be someone who is a survivor, one who has dealt with considerable past difficulties and is faced with uncertainty now. I get the impression that she was previously in some kind of out of control situation and is now very self protective to avoid a repeat of that time. The last line, "Wanting to control your life," sums it up. I also get the feeling that the speaker has been mistreated in some way by others, but acknowledges some personal responsibility for whatever occurred. The poet plays it close to the vest here, so we never know exactly what happened, but we are very curious. The spare, unadorned lines add to the mystery. The only correction I would suggest concerns the repeated phrase "Some days I do feel...?/Why the hell it's so real?" It seems to me that it should be punctuated with a period instead of a question mark. Otherwise, this is quite an interesting piece.

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JohnCreekmore
Wed Apr 19 22:41:10 2017

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My Review of Erotic Politicians by PoetGLG123
It's everywhere
The poet makes an important point about our pervasive media. The images to which we are constantly exposed are often not pleasant ones: " People crying/ Souls dying," and a catalogue of various other horrors, with the occasional repetition of the phrase "The dark dammed sea." I don't know if this is a pun on "cursed" or a reference to pressure building up. The end of the poem seems to offer hope that an awakening will eventually take place. What will happen then is not specified; we are told only that "The doors are infinite!" Hopefully that means infinite good. A sharp look at a pressing problem. Well done.

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JohnCreekmore
Wed Apr 19 22:28:57 2017

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My Review of Fuck the police !!!!! by spice-silly
I hate it when people steal from Emily Dickenson.
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JohnCreekmore
Sun Apr 16 21:21:25 2017

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My Review of Hosanna by SketerMichaels
Easter piece
I am a lover of spare, brief lines that nevertheless carry impact within them, and this offering certainly fits the bill. Every octet is filled with meaning and gets that meaning across more forcefully than many of the flowery, verbose efforts I have seen. I like especially verse 6, with its emphasis on myth and mystery. The only correction I find necessary also comes in that verse, where it seems "became" would be a better choice than "become." Otherwise this one is a fine tribute to this Christian holy day.

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JohnCreekmore
Sat Apr 15 20:31:35 2017

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My Review of Black Horse Rum by BobQuinn
Rum runner
Excellent rhyme, meter and storytelling skills. Enjoyed it very much.

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JohnCreekmore
Sat Apr 15 20:22:36 2017

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My Review of American Pride 2 by HungGarKid
Sounds familiar
Did Noam Chomsky help you write this?
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JohnCreekmore
Thu Apr 13 20:54:08 2017

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My Review of Strange Girl by vivididol
Black humor
Indeed, it is both dark and comical. Also well rhymed. Enjoyed it immensely.

PS: Stay away from this chick. And her dad.

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JohnCreekmore
Wed Apr 12 21:36:54 2017

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My Review of Once There Did Exist... by odinroark
Gone are the days
The mention of Classic Comics transported me for a moment back to my own youth. The days of childhood and early adolescence are indeed times when myths are forged, when tree houses serve as the backdrop for dreams of glory and accomplishment. We can be whom we want in those secluded aeries, and who's to contradict us? It's just us and our imaginations, which at that time have not experienced the blows and limitations that constitute the world. It is interesting to visit those old haunts and try to recapture that world and that person we were, but it is not possible. Like Mr. Wolfe said, you can't go home again. The best we can do comes through in the last verse, where the poet is able to experience a feeling of acceptance. In truth, what else is there? Fine work.

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JohnCreekmore
Mon Apr 10 22:18:46 2017

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My Review of Tick Tock by Silverblue
Take note of now
While the first five verses of this poem illuminate the difficulties of this world, it is the last two that provide the message. The poet tells us to avoid being disheartened by appearances, live in the now and take action to make it better. I love this line: "A year is an acre of time in a field". It reminds me of part of Psalm 90. A lot of unique images and rhymes in this one, along with the great philosophy. Well done.
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JohnCreekmore
Mon Apr 10 22:05:40 2017

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My Review of The Savage Garden by JimSlaughter
Armageddon
Wow, this one is a real downer. The poem sounds either Buddhist or Existentialist, but it's the notes that are the kicker. God is actually Donald Trump!

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JohnCreekmore
Sat Apr 8 21:45:52 2017

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My Review of The Temple and The Tomb by augustrush
Introspective, indeed
The poet has obviously done a lot of inward searching, and this effort appears to be an attempt to achieve psychological survival. What she desires most is self forgiveness, but I sense she has not quite achieved it. I hope she succeeds, because without self forgiveness there is no way to release the past. An honest read here.

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JohnCreekmore
Sat Apr 8 21:34:13 2017

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My Review of The Man Of The Hour by michaelgallatin
On the other hand
If Mr. Putin commits an atrocity in Ukraine or Chechnya, I wonder if Mr. Trump will take out one of HIS airfields.

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JohnCreekmore
Fri Apr 7 23:09:41 2017

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My Review of Night Watcher by feelnpoetic
The Silvery Moon
After reading this one, I must admit I have neglected the moon. Except when it's full, I barely notice it. I never thought the silver orb could bestow such benefits. It almost sounds addictive. Tell me, during eclipses do you go into withdrawal?

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JohnCreekmore
Fri Apr 7 23:01:35 2017

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My Review of Lorie by michaelgallatin
Impermanence
This is a well rhymed, penetrating look at the last change all of us will make in this place. The Anglican Book of Common Prayer reminds us that "In the midst of life we are in death." On some level I think we are always aware of this but look away from it. Sometimes it takes the death of one we love to remind us that we must make peace with this irrevocable truth. Very good work here.

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JohnCreekmore
Thu Apr 6 21:55:10 2017

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My Review of
~*April Breath*~
by Littlesong
Spring
Spring must have come fully to her homeland, for it is bursting through the poet's words in this poem: "The whispers of rippling grass/ April sighs, through the ethereal haze/ Gentle and divine". Verse 1 is filled with such spring imagery, all greenness and sunshine. One can almost picture being in the midst of it. Verse 2 uses both "solitude" and loneliness to describe an inner state, and while they are usually regarded as different, they seem to be similar here. They seem to indicate a yearning that is offset by the effects of the season, in which she feels her spirit being uplifted. Some very nice images in this verse. The last verse reiterates that feeling of near rapture she often mentions in relationship with the beloved one: "Where I only feel the spiritual range/ In the space of abounding grace". It must be some contagion in the northern hemisphere; I too felt the uplift of spring today, although I didn't quite soar as high as the poet did. Very good and timely work.

Suggestions: Put a comma at the end of line 1 and drop the one in line 2; What are "Lacy steps?"; In line 7, the word "kiss" seems out of place; In verse 2, line 3, drop the comma after "up" and put it at the end of the line; put a comma at the end of line 5; In verse 3, line 1, put an s on the end of "glow"; in next line, put a comma after "wrapped."; next line, put a comma after "anymore"; in line 6, put a comma after "grace"; next line, comma after "crest";
next line, comma after "presence"; next line, comma after "lead".

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JohnCreekmore
Thu Apr 6 12:47:45 2017

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My Review of High Priestess. (Heroin) by taiglum
Smack
This one features some very fresh and unique rhymes and a controlled use of meter. The imagery is also very effective, likening heroin to the ultimate seductive mistress. Would that more had read this before succumbing to the deadly charms of the white lady. Very good work here.

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JohnCreekmore
Tue Apr 4 21:26:43 2017

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My Review of Purnululu by Malpa
Overload
You paint beautiful word pictures, Malpa, but after reading this one, I'm in cultural overload. After all, I just recently learned what a "billabong" is.

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