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My Comments & Reviews:


Filmgirl39
Sat May 6 01:33:45 2017

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My Review of Remembering by michaelgallatin
I like this, though...
I like this, though I think it is a bit short and I would like to see it expanded. Also, if you are interested in military fiction as a genre, there is a school in Florida that specializes in it and I think they said that they were the only program like that in the States.
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Filmgirl39
Sat May 6 00:45:47 2017

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My Review of Wept by Silverblue
Beautiful...but...
This poem is really emotive, though I think choppyin some places...the first example is something like I think your line that says never to find true love should be never to find love to make the meter right. And I think that you are talented enough that if you read through what you wrote, you can fix the rest.
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Filmgirl39
Sat May 6 00:36:36 2017

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My Review of Awakening by JohnCreekmore
The theme
I like the theme of this a lot, though I think that I would break some of the lines up differently to make it more effective.
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Filmgirl39
Wed Apr 20 21:13:48 2016

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My Review of In Fury Untamed by jonni-inferno
is this?
Is this a painting or a photograph? Did you do it? It is really good!
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Filmgirl39
Wed Apr 20 21:11:31 2016

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My Review of Stars by LuxFalls
is this?
Metaphoric for the person you love or you being Jesus?

It is really beautiful, though a bit arrogant if YOU think that YOU are Jesus rather than the lover mentioned.
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Filmgirl39
Tue Apr 19 21:39:38 2016

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My Review of A heart made of stone by YogeetaGhansam
really beautiful...
And interesting in that I can'r tell from reading this piece whether Luna really refers to the moon (before I read your notes) directly or whether Luna is really a person that you either don't know at all, think you know and are infatuated with or know and appreciate. On that basis, it is thought-provoking and well-written, too!
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Filmgirl39
Tue Apr 19 21:10:14 2016

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My Review of Rejuvenation by bickerstaffe
vivid!
wonderful execution of the use of sexuality in any type of writing...
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Filmgirl39
Sun Apr 17 17:53:54 2016

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My Review of You made me grab the knife by superboyleolopez
how depressing...
I hope that this is merely a poem and not REAL as though you are really this sad...
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Filmgirl39
Sun Apr 17 17:49:20 2016

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My Review of Lost Within A Dream Again. by philip19
just...
Make BELIEVE instead of make out??? A suggestion...
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Filmgirl39
Sun Apr 17 17:46:22 2016

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My Review of My Morning Dew by YogeetaGhansam
love this...
Just KEPT instead of keep to preserve the tense...in stanza 3....and ARE driving me blind instead of is...
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Filmgirl39
Sun Apr 17 17:38:18 2016

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My Review of Sundiver by Viaclovsky
Awesome!
Awesome work!
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Filmgirl39
Sun Apr 17 17:36:45 2016

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My Review of Fox Den 1 by whitecat007
love the parallels....
I love the parallels here between the gas, the creature, the warmth of the coffee and your warmth and willingness to spare the fox...and the quad, too...really flawless!
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Filmgirl39
Sun Apr 17 17:33:14 2016

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My Review of She Sits by michaelgallatin
love the last two lines..
Good work...I just wonder if this is more a character development of her as a person rather than a story...
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Filmgirl39
Sun Apr 17 17:29:49 2016

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My Review of Postscript by bickerstaffe
such a great writer!
You are such a great writer....absolutely speechless!
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Filmgirl39
Sun Apr 17 17:14:34 2016

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My Review of Boys to Men by feelnpoetic
this is....
This is so, so wonderfully loving...only as few minor meter issues like a few extra words that I see might be needed in order to keep the flow going...like they are WAY or WISE beyond their years...and they'll simply NOT fall back...as in, they will not succumb to them...but so maternally wonderful and perfect as a tribute!!!
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Filmgirl39
Sun Apr 17 17:08:44 2016

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My Review of Veneration by bickerstaffe
Is this?
Is this Pindaric, I assume so, because it has a more formal tone than the irregular, though I am not yet really well-versed in this form so I had to look it up to know that there were 3 types...really, really beautiful...
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Filmgirl39
Mon Apr 11 16:09:33 2016

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My Review of The Cherry Tree by ArthurVaso
all over the road...
Let me explain before you freak out and get mad and write back that I am "mean" as some other writers do...I LOVE your intention, but I don't love how you went about it because I think it is really inconsistent...meaning, when you are starting with the power and the flow that you have, you should keep it going in the same way...

example from your piece: heart as a cherry and red representing anger of the fuse are like two thoughts similar, but juxtaposed...the wording also has a rhythm that does not flow the same way throughout the piece and that is a real shame because I loved the rhythm of your start....then the I am no more and the line before do not do it justice in that they are choppy a bit...I think that you think that it is powerful and it is, but to me, only for an ending...fireworks and amusing while two contrasting ideas as the first stanza is not quite the same contrast and hence, a little awkward...meaning, pick a theme of contrast for each stanza like color or emotion in first or visual, auditory in second and make the themes similar...to preserve power of the piece and a reader's interest to move forward...then, heavens and above are the same, so you break the genre by breaking the flow of power through contrast, so as a reader, it totally throws me off and I lose what you are trying to achieve....too bad for you as the writer, because when you break a flow, people will not keep reading to review you even if you have a talent for writing in other genres and don't want to get lost so you can improve in this one...then you do the contrast in the next to lines that you were doing in the first two everywhere else, which breaks the power of the piece to me, too...and the rhythm is not the same, so I, as the reader, shut down...after wise there should be a comma...but that is usually an editor thing not a writer thing...it can be both, but if the writer forgets, it is the editor's job to catch it....then I like upon "upon OUR heads of irony...we are no more" or "upon the head of irony you are no more...but not your head of irony, simply because you've proven by the first few stanzas that the other person is incapable of perceiving the hurt or thinking about the hurt as you do, so it is THE head and not your head (as in the other person) because the other person has stopped caring by stanza 2....these are just opinions, not in stone...
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Filmgirl39
Mon Apr 11 14:37:53 2016

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My Review of Son by Peacelovr
I like this and I don't..
First of all, I think cozy is spelled with a z unless there is a British spelling as with many words...second. I love the mysticism of this and your ethereal descriptions, but I am more swept up in the perfume of the meaning than I am cognizant of your intention....meaning, I don't really "get" what you are trying to convey...do you want to illustrate that you are a flowery poet with facile use of flowery language or is there a story or some other meaning behind it?
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Filmgirl39
Mon Apr 11 14:31:42 2016

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My Review of 317. by Profanisaurus
OK...some thoughts...
choose or see fit rather than chose because you are in the present tense in the first three lines, so you should stay there...where times of their lives are stored....I know that the rule is singular rather than plural here because of the rule of every ONE person, though I see this as a reflecting stanza, so I would put it in the wistful past...I would delete the last two lines of that stanza as they detract from the beauty of the sentiment...I would not use choose or chose so close together as it is a grammatical thing...I would find another word to vary things...rather than on, away sounds more powerful to me....I like a portion of this, though I think it is really awkward in its form...perhaps you can morph it or expand it or something? I like a few lines, though!



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Filmgirl39
Mon Apr 11 14:22:26 2016

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My Review of If I never... by JimSlaughter
I'm speechless!
Beautiful....
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Filmgirl39
Fri Apr 8 16:07:29 2016

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My Review of L.O.T.J.L Ep 5: The Cursed Port Town by EdwinBozie
very interesting....
I think this piece is extremely interesting in that it seems to be multi-gere, both sci-fi/fantasy and detective a bit part way through....apart from that, I have a question....this piece reminds me very much of a skeleton of the Harry Potter series, of which I have only read part of the book in which Harry is turned away by neighbors in the beginning for being strange...is there any relationship to you and this series at all? Very curious!
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Filmgirl39
Fri Apr 8 14:50:58 2016

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My Review of My Kid Sister by bickerstaffe
love the ending!!
Only minor...maybe use OVERCOMING instead of overcame to preserve meter, though if I heard you read it, I might feel differently...
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Filmgirl39
Fri Apr 8 14:47:45 2016

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My Review of Mean,Rude And Agressively Crazy by 100nobodysbitch
I like...
I like the beginning of this where I feel that it is clear that you meant this to be a poem. However, I feel that it very quickly falls apart into an attempt at a private admonishment of some sort that has no specific genre construction that is identifiable to me.
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Filmgirl39
Fri Apr 8 14:44:20 2016

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My Review of Messiahs 2 by JohnCreekmore
maybe...
Reason ENOUGH for living? Otherwise, powerful!
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Filmgirl39
Fri Apr 8 14:42:28 2016

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My Review of Luminous Bloodline by LouisaJolanda
I really like....
I really like this stanza style and the way you choose to achieve power in this piece. I also like the way that it appears that you start out as accusatory and move toward forgiveness...beautifully expressed!
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