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My Comments & Reviews:


lyrycsyntyme
Mon Nov 27 04:27:58 2017

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My Review of "and the angels sang" by Malpa
I love the concept, it's clearly tapping into a very real experience, but one that is fresh and rare. Some powerful descriptiveness well put into play in portraying the feeling and the environment. Most notable to me being "the voices soared to the arches above, hung on the still spring air, and reached into the very soul of my being."

The only area I could see poem being further advanced would be to give it a bit more of a flow. It reads more as a series of short, connected poems than as one piece. Perhaps that was the intention?

Regardless, the message was delivered and received in a way that drew this reader into it.

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lyrycsyntyme
Mon Nov 20 00:37:24 2017

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My Review of Plucky men by Elinert
It is the role of the giver to be taken. But, there will be givers across your road, too. Between now and then, and always, I hope you aren't too discouraged as to stop giving out of love and help. That love, of course, is okay to mean moving on if you get tread on too hard.

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lyrycsyntyme
Mon Nov 20 00:32:12 2017

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My Review of Seems So Easy by Silverblue
Ah, what a powerful closing in "a flash across the sky".

This was so well written, with fluidity throughout and what I'll call "wrinkle-free rhyming". Simply, smooth, but not something that could be glossed over. At least not by these eyes.

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lyrycsyntyme
Sun Nov 19 12:05:56 2017

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My Review of I write....... by fraido
Writing is a handing of our eyes to others. Keep sharing your eyes : )

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lyrycsyntyme
Sat Nov 18 18:31:20 2017

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My Review of i am nothing by jonathon_meece
As calsdarembrace said, it is so hard to love in an unrequited manner. But your love was not in vain, because love is something given. It's something that requires, nor should demand, a return to be real. You did your best, gave them the love you felt for them. You did no wrong in that.
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lyrycsyntyme
Sat Nov 18 18:29:07 2017

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My Review of The Home by PoetGLG123
Beautiful. There's just that long moment we streak across time. At least in this life.

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lyrycsyntyme
Sat Nov 18 12:45:59 2017

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My Review of Dreamer by chrome
I like the theme and direction of your poem : ) It's so tempting to get for ever lost in the imagination, with the imaginary world being capable of busting our chains and limitations, giving us seeming control beyond anything that exists in the real world. But, of course, what of the real world while we're spending all of our time in dreams? What of the dreams that actually could have been? And, does the statue left standing out in the rain not erode, whether we imagine it does or not? Yea, for sure, we have to be wide awake often. Our burden is also our real, wonderfully chiseled story.

Some thoughts for the scheme of your poem. The pairing works very well. I'd love to see you maintain it for the stanza where you speak of the happily ever after. Also, in the previous stanza, I think that moving "possibilities" into the first verse might work better. The last verse, though, works perfectly as a single line. It's a very nice finishing touch.

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lyrycsyntyme
Sat Nov 18 12:31:05 2017

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My Review of Into the Valley by JohnCreekmore
This is an incredible work, sir. If time is taken to walk between the pages of newspapers, the narrative seems to place our feet right in the midst of this very vale you speak of. You know, when I crumble it up and throw it away, most days all I see is the wonders of the hills and the mountains around me.

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lyrycsyntyme
Sat Nov 18 12:26:26 2017

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My Review of Old Mail Road by Malpa
Well, you did good in your dabbling with rhyme. I love the journey's that are hidden in plain sight. The subtle little secrets whispering to passerby's. : )

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lyrycsyntyme
Sat Nov 18 12:22:37 2017

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My Review of Rainy Days Remind Me Of You by carol28
Beautiful poem, Carol. Where I am sitting, watching a rainy day through the window, this was a perfect read. Thank you. A soft, nostalgic pace, for a slow day. One that leaves more time for memories.

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lyrycsyntyme
Sat Nov 18 12:19:40 2017

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My Review of Dead inside by lonliness
Your heart didn't betray you, even if your expectations did. To love another, even if devastation is the eventual outcome, gives us some of the best days of our lives. I hope you don't die inside, but can find a place where - even amidst the terrible pain you have to go through for this - you can find solace in what love was truly worth. For now, I'm so sorry for you having to make this discovery. I hope time will reward you for all of the patience you tried to show, and love you gave. Take care.
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lyrycsyntyme
Tue Nov 14 12:37:26 2017

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My Review of American Genocide by michaelgallatin
The victors never use the harshest - and truest - words to describe their bad behaviors. We call our WW2 camps "internment camps", instead of "concentration camps". We called genocide of native American's "manifest destiny" for a long time - some still do - and now generally refer to it as an "unfortunate, regrettable consequence of progress".

John Creekmore does have a point that it's important, also - to not turn indigenous people's into god-figures. Not every native society was all that different from the Europeans in terms of violence, and even some of those that were far more peaceful and earth-minded, surrendered their morality to violence at times. On the whole, just for being human beings that deserved just treatment, it was a horrible long series of acts against them. But, also, we did lose an opportunity to learn some valuable ways of living.

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lyrycsyntyme
Tue Nov 14 12:25:40 2017

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My Review of What Do We Really Know? by Silverblue
Live and let live, eh? If it could only come so easy for all of us, as it breezes through in the gentle craft of this poem. Maybe, through your pen, some will see that. I hope so. I hope, myself, to be yet better. Thanks.

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lyrycsyntyme
Tue Nov 14 12:21:53 2017

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My Review of The Plague Cart by SaintDharumis
Though your wrote this in the art of a yester-century's english, I feel like this vividly describes the desensitization rising to a vulgar high around us in our current lives.

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lyrycsyntyme
Tue Nov 14 12:16:58 2017

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My Review of Lightly The Sea Treads by TaroHiryu
Great ending, loved it. "Fear the Day. Not the Night." That is a lot of wisdom packed into a few words. This ties in well to your Honest World Poem.

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lyrycsyntyme
Tue Nov 14 12:01:35 2017

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My Review of WHAT I LOVE ABOUT YOU by seriouspoet
"I love your kindness
Because it embraces everyone
Even when they are utterly undeserving"

A more precious trait, it's hard to imagine being shared. Beautiful, and a really sweet poem.

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lyrycsyntyme
Tue Nov 14 11:58:07 2017

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My Review of Why do Women Rule? by matelotrod
To quote a Billy Joel song:

"Yesterday wasn't always good,
And tomorrow ain't as bad as it seems."

Reality may have seemed relatively good for you back when, but you also have to travel in others shoes. What you may feel you are losing, perhaps wasn't rightfully all yours to begin.

That being said, woman are hardly in control of society. They're still vastly the minority in positions of power and influence. In the news, man or woman, they're just teleprompter readers. There's no power there, I assure you. But listen, rather than focus on the powerlessness you are perceiving having vs women, you might want to note that most men and women are allies in the same struggle. Most of us have little say in what goes on in the world, and generally no say beyond what our own hands do.
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lyrycsyntyme
Tue Nov 14 11:49:56 2017

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My Review of Frame Work by ChorumAresus
I hope you can find a way to see beyond the now. Beyond the gun, beyond even what waits inside it's chamber.

Your first stanza, particularly, shows a real talent ("place a hand on any form of sincerity", for example), but more than that it shows just how much life exists inside you, still. Not for a dead spirit can such words come. Hang on. You'll be worth it.

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lyrycsyntyme
Tue Nov 14 11:44:23 2017

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My Review of A War Victim's Lament by chrisjtinenuwan
It's terrible, always, the toll of war. The cost is never worth the perceived gain. Many are moved by men behind podiums, whom are moved by dollars behind the scenes. We, when warriors or cheerleaders, are convinced that we're fighting for something more than the monetary gains and desire for control by the few.
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lyrycsyntyme
Tue Nov 14 11:39:21 2017

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My Review of Honest World by TaroHiryu
Poignant words, as the truth always is; coming at us with a very poetic touch.

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lyrycsyntyme
Tue Nov 14 10:37:24 2017

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My Review of American Pride 2 by HungGarKid
"Because the rules do not apply when you're the boss"

Oh, how sadly true. A lesson we all need to come to learn, the sooner the better.

That entire stanza, by the way, was pretty spectacular. Strong, potent visuals, such as a melting statue of liberty. Also, I do appreciate the nod to what really happened to the Towers, earlier in your poem.

I hope you still intend to write here. Your voice is needed and appreciated. Certainly by someone like me.

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lyrycsyntyme
Tue Nov 14 10:21:23 2017

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My Review of Bleeding Lies, Breathing Lines by RachelMurray
Wow. The intensity just grew and grew, cased in quite a few great metaphors along the way. My favorite, your placement and usage of "drowning in moonlight." So vivid in it's context.

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lyrycsyntyme
Wed Oct 18 03:29:10 2017

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My Review of A Spark That Never Lit by blossomwriter
Some wonderful, striking lines. "If only something could lift these desires" really struck home with me, but heaviness of your closing is worthy of at least as much praise.

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lyrycsyntyme
Fri May 6 16:40:24 2016

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My Review of IT IS...BUT by yemiraj
Our refinement is most of whom we are, isn't it.

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lyrycsyntyme
Fri May 6 15:14:31 2016

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My Review of Hold My Hand by SimpleReBirth
This feels like a song. It'd make a nice piece of music, with the right composition to support it's beautiful aura : )

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