My Comments & Reviews:
Profile Home My Writing About Me Latest News
My Blog My Guestbook Message Me Members Area


Fyrestar
Fri Jan 30 18:59:21 2015

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of Barfusion by Mattresides13
Unique - Definitely
But with all that said - a little grammar and poise goes a really long way. I actually read the poem and enjoyed it until I got to your notes- that in itself speaks to your own experiences and age. Buying a drink doesn't equal sex - and I've leveled that playing field enough to know that as a fact young sir. If she or he decided to have intercourse, it is what it is - sex - for pleasure- it wasn't bargained beforehand - so be careful who you call or judge as whores. Those in glass houses shouldn't generalize or throw stones. And I'm no one to judge but your writing - which while enjoyable, leaves me wanting to send you to an English Comp 2 instructor.
visible


Fyrestar
Sun Jul 6 17:52:31 2014

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of It Isn't Anything I Did by EltonCamp
Excellent work
In today's age, it is a shame that such happenings occur. It's very accurate though and for that, I'm glad you found an outlet. Keep writing, as you already know, you have got talent!
visible


Fyrestar
Sun Jul 6 17:44:33 2014

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of My Mask by ChelseaGrace
Great Poem
My only critique is the overuse of commas and lack of consist punctuation. I know personally, it's something I struggle with time to time. I found myself pausing when I shouldn't have but if I removed those extra commas, the flow is beautiful and I think it's deeply written.
visible


Fyrestar
Wed Nov 30 22:32:07 2011

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of Angel by whitehorse
Very nice work - keep it up. The rhythm is great. You need to check your verb tenses and in a spot or two the wording was slightly awkward - but I really did like this.
visible


Fyrestar
Fri Oct 28 23:57:51 2011

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of some by Halfred
Excellent
visible


Fyrestar
Fri Oct 28 23:17:34 2011

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of Can I... by Halfred
Content is great.. and I love it but you need to go back and re-read it dear. There are some mistakes.. spelling or grammar- otherwise it's quite beautiful.

That brief touch or yours was still with me, hour later

Is this of yours and hours later? or, am I not interpreting it correctly?
visible


Fyrestar
Sat Oct 22 06:17:27 2011

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of Innocence Trembling by christopherseth
Where were you going with this? .. different style but it's not coherent.. I don't get exactly what you are trying to say.. and second guessing if you meant how you said it.. or if it was a typo.. for me.. this is a low point review.. I feel your passion but your point is lost.. you have to be more concise.
visible


Fyrestar
Sat Oct 22 06:12:14 2011

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of Our members of parliament(2008) by terrygodwin
Not bad
I think you have the heart of the matter presented but look over your grammar - personally- it can be a killer if I have to figure out what you are trying to say and I did with this but I love your passion - keep writing.
visible


Fyrestar
Tue Oct 4 22:47:51 2011

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of The One by Halfred
Unfortunately heartache is a part of life's cycles.. things happen for a reason.. believe in fate.. and faith.. tomorrow is a gift.. explore it.. but keep your mind opened to it. This is obviously came from the heart.. The best advice is what Jeannette gave you - Life goes on
visible


Fyrestar
Mon Oct 3 18:32:32 2011

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of I Lost by Halfred
Heartfelt Pain
You put your heart into this one. When one door closes, another will open.
visible


Fyrestar
Fri Sep 30 02:13:45 2011

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of Demeowed by saiom
Just WHAT?
A cat?..... you subjected a cat that couldn't mewo to research? I'm lost.. explain.. for now you 3 stars.. because you left too much out of this to understand.. I'm not trying to be harsh but honest...
visible


Fyrestar
Fri Sep 30 02:09:04 2011

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of Dream Of Love ♥ by johnnyskillet
Fine Job
Content and paradoy is great.. I like the rhyme keep it up..
visible


Fyrestar
Fri Sep 30 02:06:38 2011

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of Trying to understand by sherria101
Hard poem. wasn't over clear here.. lover or family?.. and you need to draw the reader in more.. you are leaving out painful details (they hurt) but in doing so you are leaving your reader wondering.. you have skill .. draw your reader in more babe.
visible


Fyrestar
Fri Sep 30 02:04:12 2011

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of E Pluribus Unum by raj_gaonkar
You would have had a higher review if you actually knew your history.. content is fine but very fictional.. and I hate giving low reviews.. but seriously... this topic? history ... learn it before you write about it. I understand the 9/11 reference but this poem is older than than that in reflection.. if you want it accurate.. make it modern.. this.. seriously.. learn the American history...

the truth is. if the revolution failed- Ben franklin and more would have been traitrors.. and what we as americans did to the native americans.. is just flat ..disgustable.. so.. my friend.. revisit history ..as a history minor.. you are fortunate..
visible


Fyrestar
Thu Sep 29 15:57:18 2011

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of One Last Cry by Halfred
It's good
It also seems.. allot of torment and anger in the undertones.
visible


Fyrestar
Thu Sep 29 14:31:34 2011

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of The Gamer by Halfred
Heartfelt
When one door closes, another opens.
visible


Fyrestar
Wed Sep 28 01:20:38 2011

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of over the edge and loving it by Vixen66
great poem
visible


Fyrestar
Mon Sep 26 21:10:40 2011

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of Cedar Falls (Welcome My Son) by ewelpster
Excellent writing my friend.
visible


Fyrestar
Mon Sep 26 16:24:45 2011

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of Waiting For A Train by Halfred
Written from the heart
It's written from the heart.. and you can tell..no matter what the ending you always have your memories
visible


Fyrestar
Wed Sep 21 09:47:29 2011

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of " QUEEN BELLADONA of the KNIGHT " by andycapped
The love is evident here.
visible


Fyrestar
Wed Sep 21 09:35:31 2011

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of " TREE LEAF " by andycapped
It's a beautiful piece.. and the pain is evident throughout..

~Fyre
visible


Fyrestar
Tue Sep 20 07:59:57 2011

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of Blue Bell . Period by stalethics
Content - excellent you draw the reader in.. w/ statements.. you use them too much. I fail at commas/puncuation etc but you use w/ TOO much.. change that but your writing is great and it's a unique style of freeverse. And yes, I spotlighted it.
visible


Fyrestar
Tue Sep 20 07:38:03 2011

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of Heaven Sends It's Apologies by Silverblue
If your grammar was correct, I'd given you 5 out 5.. content is awesome.. a few words to rhyme I personally would have chosen differently.. but that is me. (along not on) just one example.. lots of talent here.. and it's awesome.. I will share this with my SO... but you get spotlight by me.
visible


Fyrestar
Tue Sep 20 07:33:57 2011

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of Mirage by neo99
Seems to me you are writing about an apocalypse.. but that's just what i see.. and honestly each reader will interpret it differently..

but you have talent. you might try a different style but that's only a suggestion.
visible


Fyrestar
Tue Sep 20 07:25:46 2011

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of Absolutely Anything by Lovelyxox
Free verse and very elegant.. I like it. You draw the reader well - keep up the writing!
visible

Showing Critiques 1 to 25 (Page 1) of 118 (5 Pages)

Previous Page 1 2 3 4 5 6 Next Page





Writers-Network.com was granted non-exclusive rights to display this work
All poetry, stories, columns, and other member contributions are owned solely by the poster
©  Writers-Network Writing Community  - All Rights Reserved