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My Comments & Reviews:


Abracadabra
Sun Oct 19 14:06:46 2014

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My Review of The World Ends Here by seraph1420
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You're right - the only real treasure in this life is to be found between our ears.
In poetry, less means more, which is why I think you can edit and hone this down a tad.
For instance, one set of cold ice caps is more than enough.
If you want your writing to improve try to avoid cliche like 'golden dunes' look for more original word combos.
All just MHO of course.
Best ~ A


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Abracadabra
Sun Oct 19 13:49:12 2014

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My Review of PC Woo & Co Law Group: About Our Association by annbell1993
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Anything approved by the Chinese Ministry of Justice should know better than to post ugly SPAM like this here on a writer's website.
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Abracadabra
Sun Oct 19 13:45:04 2014

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My Review of Ravelings Of Life by blossomwriter
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Interesting and evocative train of thought swirling to its own conclusion.
Like you say - it is what it is.
Best ~ A
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Abracadabra
Thu Oct 9 03:34:13 2014

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My Review of Taking Advantage by CoughingVibrati
The important message you are writing about here should concern us all.
I can't help thinking though that you would be more effective in getting the message across if you ditched the rhyme and really let your ideas flow.
Thanks for caring and keep writing.
Best ~ Abra


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Abracadabra
Tue Oct 7 03:45:39 2014

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My Review of The journey is never ending by Hansi
Every journey begins with a single step and as an expression of self this is a good beginning.
The more you read, the better your own work will become.
Keep writing and working at improving your vocabulary.
Best ~ Abra

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Abracadabra
Mon Oct 6 05:23:08 2014

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My Review of Life's pains by freakychic13
Good dramatic finish to your thoughts here.
It's hard to stay positive when there's so much despair all around us.
But focus on the good things in life you must - education is the way out of the mess.
You hit the spot more than once - well done.
Keep writing ~ Abra

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Abracadabra
Mon Oct 6 05:12:53 2014

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My Review of THE BLOOD MOON COMES by JudyBall
All good interesting stuff.
Yet somehow I don't feel I should be heading for my hideout in the hills just yet.
Of course, the moon has a great influence on writers too, so we may expect some quirky activity here at WN.
Best ~ Abra


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Abracadabra
Mon Sep 29 08:30:15 2014

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My Review of The Winking Star by sicky666x
Short and sweet then.
Ah yes, to the Greeks the guardian of the bear, the Inuit's old man, in Polynesia a pillar to stand by, to the Japanese the star of wheat and for the Arabs, the uplifted one, but my far own personal favourite is the Roman belief that Arcturus foretold the coming of a storm.
Best ~ Abra

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Abracadabra
Mon Sep 29 05:20:25 2014

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My Review of Noises by veenahari
There are places where it's considered bad form to rewrite the work of others online, but I was sorely tempted to do so here.
If I had, I would have beefed up some of the verbs and added some colour, ripped away some of the cliche and above all made it personal.
Your theme of jaded love is an old one - so it needs to be special to succeed.
Certainly it's a good write, but it lacks those smallest details which single out a fine poem - which I know from your other pieces you are more than capable of.
All JMHO of course.
Best ~ Abra

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Abracadabra
Sun Sep 28 06:28:18 2014

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My Review of Mortality by thechoice78
Reasoning like this arrives only with age.
Kids do not fear the grim reaper nor see death as a release.
They are blessed with notions of their own immortality - until life opens their eyes to the truth.
Thanks for sharing this thought provoking read.

Best ~ Abra
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Abracadabra
Sun Sep 28 06:15:56 2014

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My Review of Faith by rishiratnam
Uplifting simplicity itself.
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Abracadabra
Sat Sep 27 05:59:49 2014

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My Review of The Singer by Gyrocaptain
Ah yes, the seedy smoke filled night club crammed with bawdy revellers where the artist's performance definitely deserves a better reception.
Perhaps it's a tad like this carefully crafted write - which in my opinion certainly deserves more reads.

Best ~ Abra
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Abracadabra
Fri Sep 26 21:38:32 2014

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My Review of The Cats of Pelham Bay. by jimmy
Bravo, an original write worthy of the spotlight.
Hope you're all stocked up with ammo and ready to go.
Look forward to reading more from you along the same lines
~ A
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Abracadabra
Thu Sep 25 06:49:56 2014

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My Review of TOGETHER - TOGETHER by FYREBIRD
Shame Ed forgot the deficit and immigration in his speech - could turn out to be the biggest political blunder for years. We'll find out soon at the next election.
Any policies which address the gap between rich and poor will be most welcome.
Personally, I'm all for single party government - everyone together working for the common good - especially when times are tough.
The problem with this is history shows that kind of absolute power always corrupts.
Thanks for the read.
Best ~ Abra
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Abracadabra
Thu Sep 25 06:38:12 2014

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My Review of Push Models Receive Excellent Reviews From Clients by anderson299
Short story, huh.
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Abracadabra
Thu Sep 25 06:34:49 2014

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My Review of Fire - A poem about Desire by veenahari
Changing attitudes towards women are certainly taking place in your country. The problem seems to be the speed of that change.
I enjoyed this immensely.
Thank you for a fine write straight from your poet heart.
One small caveat on presentation - double spacing especially with short lines hinders the reader and doesn't add anything to your poem.
JMHO of course
Best ~ Abra

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Abracadabra
Thu Sep 25 05:26:25 2014

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My Review of Willow's Thirst by Caroline
I can tell you've worked hard to create some powerful word plays here.
And maybe it's just me, but when I read this aloud I struggle to find your poet's voice in the poem - there's no edge to the passion - it's pretty pictures but there's not much to quicken the heart. Perhaps it's because I prefer my poetry raw and real.
That's not to say this isn't of high standard though and it's all JMHO of course.
Best ~ Abra
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Abracadabra
Tue Sep 23 19:07:17 2014

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My Review of Love her. by LostInLife
Honesty straight from the heart never fails to make its mark and this write certainly has the wow factor.
It sounds to me like you deserve way better than the one who slipped away though - make sure you don't dwell on him forever.
I'm struggling to advise on the writing itself as tinkering with honesty can be a tricky business.
My one suggestion would be to end with : 'then I hope we may love,
again.'
Thank you so much for sharing ~ Abra

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Abracadabra
Tue Oct 22 07:22:41 2013

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My Review of The Darkness by SOjeda
This comes from a desperate place and with a few tweaks your reader might really feel how dark it is there - if that's what you wish.
Did you mean wonder or wander? Both work and I'm sorry to nitpick, but it makes a huge difference. I prefer wonder myself.
With your permission, here's an edit of your version for you to mull over.


I wonder outside
in search of the darkness--
not the absence of sun or light
but the cold, familiar emptiness of true darkness
the hollow feeling within
which never truly leaves.

One day,
I shall welcome its cold embrace
to smuggle my soul from the last of the light
leaving all that's bright and shiny
a shadow in the dust.

How I long for that darkness
to sate me
with the the thrill of its final blow.

All just MHO of course - ^hope something there helps.
~ Abra
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Abracadabra
Tue Oct 22 06:33:19 2013

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My Review of Drinking Again by JamesAllen
Well penned, James - an appropriately bitter write given the circumstances.

There must be few things uglier than a drunken woman falling off the wagon.
If this is happening in your life now - you have my sympathy.

The ' bells' ending packs a punch alright - but I wonder if the kick might sound even stronger if you tweaked it to

" familiar as the sound
of Sunday's hollow bells"

^all JMHO of course

Best ~ Abra
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Abracadabra
Thu Feb 14 06:01:43 2013

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My Review of Remember, remember by IggyInin
Best thing I've read all day!
You don't need to apologise for the way you feel.
Especially not on a poetry website. Mostly poets lean torwards things morbid and sad.
Poetry is about expressing what you want, how you want & you've done your best to create a meaningful write, but no poem is ever finished so get tweaking.
There's lot of potential in what you written thus far.
Using "Remember, remember" rather than just once, is maybe too cliche for the truth behind this poem - it doesn't need that kind of frill to dress it up.
The faeries of imagination are the best part.
But they need more description and some of your readers may require help to get the idea. So find a way to inject some colour into the piece - make them flit through green shadows at the bottom of the garden on silvery wings - or whatever you saw with your Aunt. Vivid imagery always works best.

Hope something here helps^
Best ~ Abra
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Abracadabra
Thu Feb 14 04:46:23 2013

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My Review of Pariah by gretzky17
I do feel a lot of pain behind this, but there's a great deal more required if you want to write effectively for others.
It may be that therapeutic self expression is all you're aiming for and so on that level this probably works.
But if you want to be taken seriously, then you'll need to bust a gut until you come up with some original imagery that reveals the real poet you.
Keep writing (& reading)
JMHO ~ Abra
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Abracadabra
Thu Feb 14 04:25:08 2013

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My Review of Ketchup by RisingPoet
At last, not another cheese laden Valentine's Day poem......!
Even though I do adore ketchup as a welcome and appropriate accompaniment to liven up certain dishes, I am able to emphathise with the troubled sentiment behind your culinary snippet.
It tastes better if you keep it in the fridge, btw!
Thanks for the read.
Best ~ Abra
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