Profile Home My Writing About Me Latest News
Message Me Members Area Writers-Network Upgrade to PRO

My Comments & Reviews:


Abracadabra
Sat Jan 14 12:18:52 2017

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of Cloaked in Starlight by RachelMurray
You'll may discover it's the full moon that makes your writing more active, Rachel.
This offering is at once whimsical, wistful and wishful.
Perhaps a subconscious plea to your knight in shining armor, who knows.
Thanks for the read. (Do wish you'd grow out of using those awful first line caps, btw)
Best ~ Abra
visible


Abracadabra
Thu Jan 12 06:18:45 2017

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of Remain Open by DWilkin
Some original moves here with a charming diary style honesty that almost reaches out
to warm the reader on a cold day.
Especially taken with 'eyes of beasts unknown'.
Thank you for your enjoyable musing.
Best ~ Abra
visible


Abracadabra
Sun Dec 11 04:22:18 2016

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of Dreamscape by Alleykittyn
If I wanted to be harsh I'd point out that your own notes describe this story as 'forgettable'.
That wouldn't be a fair description though, as it does have moments where you show considerable skill as a writer.
I think you also acknowledge it was something of a practice piece in need of editing.
That said, your opening rattles along fast, but flirts with cliche on occasion and I would have liked to have seen more original wordplay from the outset..
(especially sentence 2)
After that the pace drops dramatically.
Certainly I'd give the characters themselves more description, rather than getting bogged down with coffee making.
I know you've put a lot of effort into this and I do admire your commitment but ask yourself truthfully --does your idea and the ending you provide your reader justify all that work.
^^^Hope something here helps.
It's JMHO of course and if anything offends please feel free to ignore.
Do keep going, it's quite obvious you have the potential and qualities required to succeed as a writer.
Best ~ Abra

visible


Abracadabra
Sat Dec 10 14:36:13 2016

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of The Gift I Give by kanewyork
Noble and tender sentiments indeed.
Wish you could figure out the spacing issues when you post, as it does make your poem a little hard to read.
Best ~ Abra
visible


Abracadabra
Fri Dec 9 04:18:34 2016

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of November 28th, 2016 by annalame
Nothing sadder than the death of one's child.
I hope in a small way it helped you to share such heartfelt pain ~ A
visible


Abracadabra
Fri Dec 9 04:11:23 2016

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of Raptured Glee by michaelgallatin
On a trip to Paris I was horrified to see guys openly pissing in the street everywhere.
and I remember wondering if the ladies ever wrote their name in the same fashion.
Thanks for the smile.
Best ~ Abra

visible


Abracadabra
Mon Dec 5 04:38:16 2016

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of Play-actor Slavery by odinroark
Wise words indeed, if only we might coexist unconstrained by the shackles of ego.
Thank you.
Best ~ Abra
visible


Abracadabra
Mon Dec 5 04:35:16 2016

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of Breath by whitecat007
Sage advice but your presentation needs another look.
Best ~ Abra
visible


Abracadabra
Sat Dec 3 02:07:13 2016

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of came in for... by feather
Evocative whimsical wishfulness about something naughty in the snow perhaps?
Made me smile.
Best ~ Abra.
visible


Abracadabra
Sat Dec 3 01:56:49 2016

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of A Little Child by sicky666x
Yeah, let's hear it for human sacrifice and why don't we all grow tentacles.
Mass insanity here we come. You never know it may even be an improvement on the way we do things now.
Thanks for the read.
Best ~ Abra
visible


Abracadabra
Tue Nov 29 01:52:46 2016

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of Away by TheScarecrow
A charming little love poem.
I especially liked --- "without you, I am silent words"
Keep writing. Best ~ Abra
visible


Abracadabra
Sun Nov 27 06:11:10 2016

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of DO OR DIE. by kashaw
Had to Google this because I'd never heard of spirulina.
Intriguing that it's widely described as the most nutrient dense food on the planet.
Will be checking it out at the drugstore though as I'm not as brave as you.
I've always hated anything slimy in my mouth but pills I can handle.
Thanks for the read.
Best ~ Abra
visible


Abracadabra
Sat Nov 26 20:55:01 2016

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of Forget Me Not by lostsouls123
I'm sure that the fates will provide someone better for the writer, however certain she may feel right now that her heart will always belong to the person who just slipped through her fingers.
There's seven billion people on the planet which equates to plenty to choose from.
Oh, you wanted crit didn't you... "echoes in the wind" "light fleeting from eyes" are too cliche --when you're feeling your words, try & come up with something unique to you -- otherwise it sounds like it's all been said before (which it mostly has,btw)
I know it's free verse but if you tailor your line lengths a tad it'll generate a better flow. Read this aloud & you'll get what I mean. << that' s just MHO of course.
You write with refreshing honesty.

Best ~ Abra

visible


Abracadabra
Wed Nov 2 18:15:07 2016

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of Akashic Records by sicky666x
Most unusual and a tad scary but in a good way.
I'm guessing you've written a lot of these and I'm certain you could turn them all into a book if you wanted to.
Keep going and tx for the read.
Best ~ Abra
visible


Abracadabra
Wed Oct 26 06:17:15 2016

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of Wrinkled and Weary by matelotrod
Learn to age gracefully, they say -- although personally I can only resent the gradual decline and decay that afflicts us all sooner or later.
I've always thought it would be better to continue life in perfect condition until a certain age when it automatically becomes time to leave.
The shock discovery of a photo of myself in younger days was something I actually experienced recently. I was barely recognisable, so can relate totally to your poem.
Needless to say I consigned said photo to the shredder immediately.
Best ~ Abra


visible


Abracadabra
Tue Oct 25 10:34:25 2016

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of 480. by Profanisaurus
Wise words indeed.
I'm loathe to nickpick but I do wish you'd lose the double spacing though.
Sorry to be a bore, but to me presentation can seem as important as content.
Well penned nonetheless.
Best -- A.

visible


Abracadabra
Thu Mar 24 18:11:09 2016

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of Do You Know About Which Dresses To Wear In 2016? by JohnAlica

I regret to inform you that I have identified a number of glaring errors in your text.
I would be very happy to proofread all your content for you if required.
I have many years of experience as an editor and writer and although I'm not cheap, because your business entirely depends on complete accuracy, II'm sure you'll agree it would be money wisely spent.
Please feel free to contact me at WN.
Best regards ~Abra
visible


Abracadabra
Thu Mar 24 18:10:30 2016

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of What Is The Trending Fashion For Women In 2016? by JohnAlica

I regret to inform you that I have identified a number of glaring errors in your text.
I would be very happy to proofread all your content for you if required.
I have many years of experience as an editor and writer and although I'm not cheap, because your business entirely depends on complete accuracy, I'm sure you'll agree it would be money wisely spent.
Please feel free to contact me at WN.
Best regards ~Abra
visible


Abracadabra
Thu Mar 24 06:41:04 2016

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of How can students make their final thesis or disser by smithjohn
I regret to inform you that I have identified a number of glaring errors in your text.
I would be very happy to proofread all your content for you if required.
I have many years of experience as an editor and writer and although I'm not cheap, because your business entirely depends on complete accuracy, I'm sure you'll agree it would be money wisely spent.
Please feel free to contact me at WN.
Best regards ~Abra
visible


Abracadabra
Thu Mar 24 06:34:13 2016

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of Good Vocabulary Builds Great Essays by smithjohn
I regret to inform you that I have identified a number of glaring errors in your text,
both here and on your website.
Therefore, I would be very happy to proofread content for you if required.
I have many years of experience as an editor and writer and although I'm not cheap, because your business entirely depends on complete accuracy, I'm sure you'll agree it would be money wisely spent.
Please feel free to contact me at WN.
Best regards ~Abra
visible


Abracadabra
Wed Mar 23 18:28:09 2016

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of THE HILLS OF MARCH by MaryHazelUpton
What a lovely story, Mary.
I wish someone had kept all my old notebooks.
Thanks for sharing.
Best ~ Abra

visible


Abracadabra
Sun Mar 20 08:24:53 2016

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of A Momentary Lapse by bickerstaffe
Tragic events indelibly etched at a young age always hit home the hardest and stay with us longest, don't they.
I have to confess the prosey style you favor isn't my personal favorite, but it certainly works well here and in any case what matters most is, I did enjoy the read.
Thankyou.
Best ~ Abra

visible


Abracadabra
Sun Mar 20 08:12:39 2016

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of Faded Destiny by thecoolcomic
Ah, the power of perhaps.
Nothing sadder than unrequited love, wishing you'd kicked the ball harder and memories flooding back.
But past is past and perhaps one day we have to let it go for good.
Best ~ Abra



visible


Abracadabra
Wed Mar 16 04:21:25 2016

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of Elegy Of A Drunk by jmike
Some interesting ideas about boozing in this write.
I especially liked the concept of the glassware community and the alcohol angel.
At times it reads as prose rather than a poem though, bearing in mind that with poetry
less is always more.

For instance " Chyking girls in my puke stained shirt" says it better than " I would chyke some girls with my shirt stained with puke."

"The soft winds was like the waves of the sea." needs a second look, btw.

The best writers will tell you that they edit their work until they drop!

All the above, just MHO of course.

Thanks for an enjoyable read.
Best ~ Abra


visible


Abracadabra
Wed Mar 16 04:01:20 2016

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of MY LOVE MELANCHOLIA EUPHORIA by AlexHannah
Made me grin.
A space after each four line verse would improve the flow and help your reader.
I'm OK with the shock tactic in the final part of MLM, but unsure about that last verse having sufficient impact. It needs a bigger bang to finish.

Something like this maybe...

"Sadly there is no- one else
Who makes my passions soar
I'm just an occasional squeezed in fuck
He visits when he's bored"

And I'd like a stronger alternative to 'squeezed in' but hey it's your poem.

All the above just MHO. Keep writing.
Best ~ Abra

visible

Showing Critiques 1 to 25 (Page 1) of 377 (16 Pages)

Previous Page 1 2 3 4 5 6 Next Page





      

Authors, Share Your Book with Millions of Readers





Sponsored Ads By Members




Writers-Network.com was granted non-exclusive rights to display this work
All poetry, stories, columns, and other member contributions are owned solely by the poster
© Writers-Network.com - All Rights Reserved
Get Your Free Poetry Site!  |  Read Todays' Poems  |  Upgrade to PRO  |  Writing Community