Profile Home My Writing About Me Latest News
My Blog My Guestbook Message Me Members Area

My Comments & Reviews:


bianca
Sat Aug 15 00:39:51 2015

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of Espresso by clothsnake
I love this! A great 'ode' to espresso...

visible


bianca
Thu Aug 13 00:18:53 2015

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of Hideaway Door by josiechambers3
It may be an oldie, but it's great. I really enjoyed reading this as I can relate to a lot of what you wrote. Even though, I'm not in this place anymore, it was nice to talk a walk down memory lane with you.

visible


bianca
Thu Aug 13 00:13:30 2015

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of Oh, the Odds. by Mikeythearsonist
Pure beauty, indeed! I really enjoyed this as I have often had the same thoughts though was never quite able to articulate it. You did, and you did it beautifully. Well done.

visible


bianca
Thu Aug 13 00:08:16 2015

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of Old Forever Young by odinroark
Well done, odinroarka. You are quite a wordsmith. This was a wonderful read, very thought provoking and eloquently written.

visible


bianca
Wed Aug 12 23:27:26 2015

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of Dreams and Children by Vulcan68
Lovely
Beautiful written poem! As a new mother, it actually made me tear up.

visible


bianca
Fri Jan 16 23:14:39 2015

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of Felt nothing by Esrever
Wow, I love the second stanza... that clock without fear / always moving, but never going anywhere. That line gave me the chills. Love this one.
visible


bianca
Fri Jan 16 23:12:59 2015

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of Warning bell by Esrever
"eyes painted heresy, tongue swallowing leprosy." You really have a way with words. Despite the darkness and sadness, there's something really beautiful in the lines you write. I like this one even more than the last one... it seems more cohesive and thought out. Good write!
visible


bianca
Fri Jan 16 23:09:44 2015

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of Hand me downs by Esrever
"I tried to throw a hole into the ground".... there's something really captivating about that line. I think this one's my favorite so far
visible


bianca
Fri Jan 16 23:06:49 2015

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of Ashes of the earth by Esrever
"We sell the blind eyes that see crooked"... really interesting line. A few grammar errors but well written, I liked this one.
visible


bianca
Fri Jan 16 23:04:30 2015

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of Black fly lake by Esrever
Really dark, but I like it. Great imagery too.
visible


bianca
Fri Jan 16 23:02:54 2015

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of So let the world by Esrever
You have so much raw talent, it's unbelievable. I can just imagine what you could do if you'd revise your writing and even sit on it for a few days. Even still, there's something really captivating about what comes out of you so naturally.
visible


bianca
Fri Jan 16 22:59:06 2015

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of The cocytus by Esrever
I really like this one. I won't lie; I had to look up the title to see what it meant: the mythological abode of the dead. Puts an interesting meaning behind the poem.
visible


bianca
Sun Dec 29 23:02:33 2013

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of The Cerberus Project - Chapter One by ScydeFX
I don't know if I'm the best reviewer for this as I don't usually read sci-fi and don't have much to compare it to, but... speaking as a simple reader, I honestly enjoyed reading this. I will admit that I was fairly confused at first and had no idea what was going on (I actually thought Saiph was some kind of species lol) but thankfully by the end of it, everything came together nicely and left me wanting to know more about the Cerberus project and what Jane was hiding from the trainees.

I really enjoyed your writing style too; clear and descriptive without any unnecessary distractions. I especially loved the rotting potato peel line. It actually made me l-o-l. My only critique would be to cut a couple of the adverbs out at the very beginning. You don't need them IMO, you're writing is better than that. Aside from that, i think this is an excellent first draft. Keep it up, looking forward to reading more! SP
visible


bianca
Sun Dec 29 22:27:40 2013

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of The Devil, Satan, And The Exorcist by MaryJane
Interesting indeed. I'm completely confused by the Jesus pic (it's a Jesus pic, right?) but besides that, I liked the poem. I especially liked the "don't say no, I'm hungry 4YES" stanza, although I think you should spell out "for" instead of using numbers. Also, little mistake on your last line. Keep writing, I want to read more
visible


bianca
Sun Dec 29 22:23:28 2013

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of You & Me by MaryJane
There's a couple of mistakes that distracted me (there should be they're, and were should be we're) but besides that, I thought it was a nice little poem. Short but sweet. Mostly I'm just really happy to see you writing again, keep it up!
visible


bianca
Sun Dec 29 22:18:27 2013

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of Chase by MaryJane
Interesting poem. I had to read it a second time to get a better understanding of what you're saying here. I liked it, it was different.
visible


bianca
Tue Dec 10 23:14:37 2013

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of Spencer by helpmeimlost
I really enjoyed this. You have a great writing style. I feel like this could actually be turned into a longer short-story, or maybe even novella. Even though the reader isn't told too much about Spencer, the impact he's had on you is apparent, especially in your last paragraph. I would have loved to delve deeper into this. Great write regardless. Well done!
visible


bianca
Sun Oct 27 22:01:43 2013

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of Jam and Maple Cream by Archia
I really enjoyed this one! Very charming and fun to read. It almost felt like a little story wrapped inside a poem. Well done, keep it up.
visible


bianca
Thu Oct 24 11:53:03 2013

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of A Beautiful Welcome by PureHope
Well done! You painted a beautifully vivid picture with your words. I really enjoyed this.
visible


bianca
Sat Mar 23 01:48:56 2013

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of Hidden Canyon by AZstarwatcher
A Great Read!
This was a beautifully written short-story. So many of your descriptions felt like a breath of fresh air: "If he was to find a bear, it would be at a higher elevation, where the desert mixes with the forest in a bipolar kind of way and cacti live alongside ponderosa pines and Douglas firs." Not only was your imagery wonderfully original but it also helped set the tone of the story which is not always an easy thing to do.

Since you asked for critical reviews, I will say that some of the sentences could use a little tweaking; mostly just adding comma's to some, removing comma's from others. For example: "The creature shrieked at him, filling the cave with that awful sound and from its mouth, dripped nasty saliva onto the rocks." I feel like that sentence would be better served if it were broken up into two distinct sentences since it's about two separate subjects (the first part being about the sound the creature's making and how it's filling up the cave, and the latter part being a description of the mouth/saliva). It's nothing major and it certainly doesn't take away from the story but it might help with the overall flow.

Also, I'm not sure if it was just me or the way I read it, but I felt like the last sentence was missing something: "The Apaches showed little surprise at this and when an archaeological team went in to study the canyon overnight and returned with a story of ominous and inexplicable howls emanating throughout the night." It feels incomplete for some reason. Perhaps it's because you wrote "and when an archaeological team went in..." I guess I expected there to be a conclusion to the thought: and when they went in, THIS happened. Not sure if that makes sense. Maybe it's just the way I'm reading it but I almost feel as though it should have read: "And when an archaeological team went in to study the canyon overnight and returned with a story of ominous and inexplicable howls emanating throughout the night, the Apaches showed little surprise." Or something along those lines.

In any event, I greatly enjoyed reading this story and thought you did a superb job with it. I look forward to reading more of your work in the future. Keep up the great work!
visible


bianca
Mon Apr 2 20:53:41 2012

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of Click Me!! Poems Apart. by Wintersky
Thanks for posting this. You've made some really good, valid points here. I think for the most part, it's easier (faster) for people to review a short poem, get their points, and move along with their business as opposed to reading a longer short-story/series/novella/etc. Consequently, after not receiving much (if any) feedback, most story writers either end up leaving or just join the poetry bandwagon. This is a misfortune for all of us because we end up missing out on some really great reads. Maybe this piece can be the start to something new

And of course, if you have any ideas on how to encourage more writing and reviewing of non-poetry pieces, please feel free to share them with me. I'm always open to suggestions.
visible


bianca
Mon Apr 2 20:14:39 2012

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of Beautiful Agony by MaryJane
Perfect Title.
You've put your pain into words perfectly here. It's heartbreaking to know you feel this way and struggle this much with your despair, but I am proud of your ability to look within yourself and write such an honest poem. You did a really great job on this one, Mel, keep writing!
visible


bianca
Mon Apr 2 19:13:46 2012

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of I am a Poem by Silverblue
Lovely
As a writer and an avid reader, I can't help but smile when reading this. I thoroughly enjoyed each and every stanza. I think you've captured the many essences of a poem, and have done so creatively and in beautiful form. Thanks for sharing this!
visible


bianca
Sat Sep 10 18:39:40 2011

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of Anti-Bullying Campaign by RichAbrahams
I think it's wonderful of you to get behind this important cause and raise awareness on the effects of bullying. You are doing a really great thing here! I'd like to make a 500 point donation to help you increase it's visibility around the site and will also nominate this for the spotlight page. Well done, keep up the great work.
visible


bianca
Wed Aug 17 00:57:18 2011

Helpful:Thumbs UpThumbs Down
My Review of A Question Of Faith. (Dream ) by philip19
Beautifully written, I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. You depicted a vivid picture with each of your words and maintained a consistent rhythm throughout the entire piece--very impressive indeed! Thanks so much for sharing this...nominated!
visible

Showing Critiques 1 to 25 (Page 1) of 142 (6 Pages)

Previous Page 1 2 3 4 5 6 Next Page





Writers-Network.com was granted non-exclusive rights to display this work
All poetry, stories, columns, and other member contributions are owned solely by the author
© Writers-Network Writing Community - All Rights Reserved